*Disclaimer*: I'm about to share my most controversial journal entry that I've ever written. I think over 90% of people will disagree with my way of thinking. But that is okay with me, just treat it as entertainment, enjoy

Over the past 6 months or so I've run an idea past a few people I know. The idea that instead of going for a traditional relationship, I instead aim for having 5 girlfriends. 

I got some mixed responses. A friend even asked me if I would marry any of them. Truthfully I don't believe I need to get married. What's the difference if I was or was not married? To me it is just a piece of paper. To some it's all that symbolism, feng shui or prosperity stuff, but I don't really believe in that kind of thing. 

When I told my friend that I wasn't going to marry any of them, my friend was shocked. He was like... 'like that also can ah bro? Why you so creative' Marriage has been so ingrained in our culture that we cannot even begin to imagine having relationships without marriage as the end goal.

Think about it, how did people survive before marriage was invented? I think they did just fine, honestly. People still probably loved each other just as much.

Now, you don't have to worry about uninviting me to weddings. I still respect everyone's choice to get married. It's just not for me in my personal life. I know that I will be judged harshly by many people for my unconventional views and it is what it is. I cannot betray my the way I was made. 

My jie tried to discourage me by telling me that having 1 girlfriend is already so much trouble, imagine having 5. I don't think it really makes sense logically. It's like a leader saying '1 team member is so much trouble already, imagine having 5'. Just like leadership or any other skill, dating and managing relationships is a skill. I believe I can achieve competence in it over time. 

A female friend told me, 'Danny, what unresolved past trauma do you have that caused you to think like this?'. She immediately assumed there was something wrong with me. Like I was some kind of alien, and someone must have hurt me until I became like this. Part of me wished she would have at least heard me out fully before jumping to conclusions. 

Another female friend who I told this idea to was surprisingly open to it. She said 'since you are not deceiving them or lying about it, it's totally fine in my opinion. It's better than men who get married and cheat on their wives later on'. 

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention. I won't lie about it to any of the girls I date. They have complete freedom to stay or leave any time. It is 100% consensual and honest. 

But Danny, you ask, why would any girl take that deal? There are so many guys that are willing to give them exclusive traditional 1 to 1 relationships.

It's not about why would any girl take that deal. That's the wrong question to ask. The correct question is, what kind of man do I need to become so that it becomes such an attractive deal that they can't turn it down?

In fact, real life is already like this. The top 10% of men already have the option of having multiple partners. They are just not honest about it like I am. Some of them are married and still indulge outside their marriage. It's super common, you know it, I know it, everyone knows it. 

Truthfully, for most of the men who can offer traditional 1 to 1 relationships, most women are just not interested in them. Because loyalty is all they are offering. To women, most men are not attractive (lack of masculinity, personality and/or looks) and have no money. Loyalty alone is not sufficient. 

Since we are on the topic, I do want to make a clarification. Money does make you a shiny object and will attract women to you initially, but it doesn't necessarily keep them attracted to you for the long term. Amazon's founder Jeff Bezos got divorced. Tom Brady the famous American football player got divorced. Many Chinese superstars got divorced. History has shown that money alone is insufficient for a long lasting relationship. 

If money was all that mattered, none of their wives would have divorced them. So I just want to clear up that misconception. How you as a man behave within the relationship is what keeps a woman around. If you read my previous post about sexual polarity, I talk about it there in more detail. 

Some rich men just keep throwing more money at the woman they are dating, thinking it will solve the attraction issue, and it never works. In fact, it always gets worse, as she loses respect for you each time you rely on money as a crutch. Think about it, if Jeff Bezos hired a different call girl every single night of his life, it would still have been cheaper than his 20 billion dollars divorce settlement.

But why Danny? Can't you be satisfied with just 1 lovely woman in your life? How can you be so greedy? Something is wrong with you, you say.

Firstly, as I mentioned, everything is 100% consensual. It's not like I am going to put a gun to a girl's head and say they have to be with me and share me with other girls. If a girl doesn't have genuine burning desire for me or isn't ok with sharing me, I wouldn't be interested in her either. Doesn't matter if she is a top 10/10 model. She must want me for real.

Secondly, you may feel it is all about my personal lust and sex drive but it goes beyond that. Biologically, men are designed for quantity, while women are designed for quality. Women filter out men until they find the best one. Men try to spread their seed as far and wide as possible. It's all part of survival. This was the way it was intended to be, in my opinion. 

Thirdly, there is this saying that goes 'it takes a village to raise a child'. In my opinion, children need to be exposed to different people to grow properly. Traditionally, this happens in multi generational families. But that is not an option for me since I don't really get along with my parents. All the girlfriends I have can help raise each other's children. Community style. 

This arrangement also allows me to date older hot women who may not be able to give birth anymore and still want to be part of a family. 

I think that we put so much pressure on 1 person to be our best friend, romance partner, playmate, sexual partner, home maker and so on. With this structure of multiple girlfriends, no 1 girl has to bear the burden of fulfilling every single role, they can all share different responsibilities according to their strengths. They could have more freedom too since other girls could help them take care of their child.

Also, I don't expect any of them to pay for anything, I will pay for every single cost. They can just focus on maintaining their beauty, raising the children, enjoying their lives and assisting me in my life's purpose.

Some may feel that I'm treating relationships too transactionally and that I sound too cold and calculated. Honestly, to me relationships are transactional in nature. Even if no one says anything, every friendship and relationship is transactional, it all just happens below the surface and is never talked about overtly. It doesn't mean I don't care or love my friends or girlfriends. I just understand that in truth it is transactional, and that's completely okay. Society has always functioned this way. 

What about the girls? Can you meet all their needs. Yes, I believe so. However, if she is just seeing me casually and is not one of my girlfriends, she is of course free to see other men. 

Lastly, I have this weird thing that I'm not fully sure is true, I only suspect it to be true and I need more time to verify it. For now let's call it the "Mind's Eye" or the 'Eye of Truth'. It allows me to see beneath the veil of reality and reveal the unseen truths to myself and the rest of the world. There are 3 conditions for the activation of my Mind's Eye, firstly I must be in good physical health, and second is I must have a lot of varied real life experience. Thirdly, I must continuously feed my mind with new information and knowledge. With these 3 conditions met, I can make accurate predictions and reveal hidden truths that no one else can see. It can be about people or even the world.

Why did I bring this up? Simply because I believe that if it really does exist within me, I need to pass the Mind's Eye on to the next generation. By me making this decision now on how I handle my future relationships, it will affect how many children I will have, and how many generations of descendants that come from me. Somewhere down the line, it could be hundreds or thousands of years from now, one of my descendants will have inherited the mind's eye and bring greater good to the world. Better for me to assume it is true rather than not, though I'm open to being proven wrong down the road if I verify it to be false.

So naturally, it makes logical sense for me to search for the most fertile and beautiful women to bear my future children. It means avoiding women who smoke, drink, don't exercise and don't eat healthily. It means getting women who are generally younger. It also means it would be wise for me to get women from different countries for genetic diversity. Sounds like I'm a mini Genghis Khan.

If I have all my kids with just 1 woman, it's just not logical to me. I'm not an idealistic person where I have to believe in that one true ultimate love, soulmate and all that sappy stuff. I have a responsibility to carry out that goes beyond that kind of idealism. I have to make the logical decision and diversify my genes. Even if it's not considered socially acceptable. As long as no laws are broken, I see no issue with me pursuing this path. 

When I was younger, my mom once brought me to a family gathering. To paraphrase, she asked one of my uncles, 'you need to learn Chinese so girls will like you, please tell my son'. To which my uncle responded 'yeah, that's right, Chinese is very important, if not no one will like you'. I was probably around 8 to 10 years old that time. My mom probably doesn't even remember that incident. But it was burned into my mind and I still remember that whole scene like it was yesterday.

So for the rest of my life, me not knowing Chinese became a huge insecurity when talking to Chinese speaking girls. Be careful what you tell your kids, it can be an insecurity they will have to deal with for the rest of their lives. Now as an older man, I realize that it is not true at all. The person I am inside goes beyond language barriers.

Another insecurity I have to deal with is not being rich. I think this is much more common. Many guys probably have some similar version of this insecurity. Most guys will think, 'well, if I have no money, surely the girl will not like me, right? I better work hard and get money first'. 

If that's what you believe, then it's probably true. Like the famous saying goes, whether you believe you can or you cannot, you are right. These self limiting beliefs are super dangerous to internalise. It becomes true just simply because you believe it to be true. 

Our culture doesn't help with this at all. Chinese culture in general is all about money, money, money, on their deathbed probably still talking and thinking about money. They say get money, even at the cost of sacrificing everything including your health and relationships. 

Let me ask you a question. What if you can have 10 million in your bank account right now, but you only get to live another 24 hours. Would you take it? How about if you could get 100 million? The answer is still no, right? So we can conclude that the remaining time you have on this earth is worth more than 100 million. Is there even a price you can put on your remaining time? 

But people shorten their lives in pursuit of money. This is stupid and wrong. I don't care what anyone says, your health always comes first. Good health is like an invisible crown that everyone wears that only the sick can see. When you are in good health, you have 1000 problems, but when you have a health problem, then you only have 1 problem. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Don't let the glamour of the superficial rich life distract you from what truly matters. When you pay for success with your health, often times there are no refunds. I'm not saying don't get rich, I'm saying don't get rich at the cost of your health.

So what did I realize? Yes, money attracts women to you. But that's it. What truly attracts her from then onwards is your internal strength as a man. Do you have balls and a backbone? Are you masculine? These are the deeper quality traits that a woman will naturally test you on. If a woman had any initial attraction for you and later on told you that she can't see a future with you because you have no money, it's not because you have no money, it's probably really because you failed her tests. 

Women fall in love with the internal guts of a man. If you are weak internally, eventually she will leave you, no matter how rich and famous you are. There is such a thing as internal high value versus external high value. A man should strive for both. 

Here is the next realization. After reflecting on my life, I think that truthfully I already am successful and wealthy. Firstly, I take good care of myself. I am in the best physical shape in my entire 34 years of life. Secondly, I know what I want out of life and I am constantly working towards it. 

Doesn't that already make me a successful person? Do I have to see 10 million or 100 million in my bank account before I allow myself to feel successful? Why not I just allow myself to feel successful right now?

So because of these reasons, I choose to see myself as the most successful and wealthiest man I know. 

Which in turn brings me to a deeper thought. All my life I always thought that treasure lies in the riches we can earn from our income. Only to realize that in truth, I myself am the treasure. 

As the famous saying goes, 'the Kingdom of Heaven lies within'. Whatever treasure I have been searching for was already inside me all this time, if only I knew to look within. On the day I realized this a few weeks ago, tears streamed down my face.

I was never inadequate. I was always more than good enough. In fact I am excellent. I already have so many gifts and am talented in so many ways. I may have been born weak but over time I trained myself to become strong, and as the years go on, it will only reveal that I always was the strongest, I was just never tested by life. It was always all about the treasure within me, not about external riches. I'm like a 1000 layer onion that needs to be slowly uncovered. I am a story book that never ends.

Last year during my depression period, I went to see a psychologist for therapy. She was a white blond girl from south africa who was a student, offering budget therapy as part of her course training. I spent 6 sessions with her and by the 6th and last session, she told me 'Danny, I have to leave to continue my studies so this is our last time together, but I wish I could have explored your mind a lot more, you are such an interesting person'. 

Indeed, I am. 

Chinese Translation:

*《五位女友》（修订版）*

过去半年间，我曾向几位熟人透露过一个想法——与其追求传统恋爱关系，我的目标是同时拥有五位女友。

得到的反应褒贬不一。有位朋友甚至问我是否会与其中某位结婚。坦白说，我认为婚姻并非必需品。结婚与否的区别何在？于我而言不过是一纸文书。有人看重其中的象征意义、风水或吉祥寓意，但这些对我而言毫无吸引力。

当朋友听闻我不打算与任何一位结婚时，他震惊得脱口而出："这样也行？兄弟你脑洞真大。"婚姻观念已深植我们的文化骨髓，以至于人们根本无法想象不以婚姻为终点的亲密关系。

细想之下，婚姻制度出现之前人类不也繁衍生息？我认为他们过得很好。那时的爱恋同样真挚深沉。

现在你们不必担心婚礼邀请函的尴尬了。我依然尊重每个人的婚姻选择，只是这不符合我的人生规划。我深知这种非主流观念会招致苛责，但这就是我的本性，无法违背。

姐姐曾劝诫我说："一个女友就够麻烦了，五个还得了？"这种逻辑在我看来站不住脚。就像领导者抱怨"管理一个团队成员已经很头疼，何况五个"——恋爱关系管理如同领导力，都是可以习得的技能。我相信假以时日自己定能游刃有余。

有位女性朋友质疑："Danny，你究竟受过什么创伤才会产生这种想法？"她瞬间给我贴上"心理异常"的标签，仿佛我是被伤害扭曲的异类。其实我更希望她能在下结论前耐心听完我的想法。

另一位女性朋友的反应出乎意料地开放："只要不欺骗隐瞒，我觉得完全没问题。总比那些婚后出轨的伪君子强。"没错，我会对所有交往对象坦诚相待，她们随时有离开的自由，这段关系建立在百分百的知情同意基础上。

你或许会问：凭什么有女孩接受这种安排？毕竟多数男性都愿意提供传统的一对一关系。但关键不在于"为什么接受"，而在于"我要成为怎样的男人，才能让这个选择变得难以拒绝"？

现实本就如此：前10%的男性本就拥有多伴侣选择权，只是他们不像我这般坦荡。多少已婚男性在外寻欢？你知我知，心照不宣。事实上，多数只能提供"忠诚"这一单薄筹码的男性，根本引不起女性兴趣——毕竟缺乏男子气概、人格魅力、外貌资本与经济实力的忠诚，实在不值一提。

需要澄清的是：金钱确实能制造初始吸引力，但无法维系长久关系。亚马逊创始人贝索斯、橄榄球巨星汤姆·布雷迪、诸多华人明星的婚变史都证明，财富从不是感情保鲜剂。若金钱万能，他们的妻子为何离开？真正留住女人的，是男性在关系中的内在力量。我在先前关于"性吸引力极性"的帖文中已有详述。

某些富豪企图用金钱解决吸引力危机，结果适得其反——每次用金钱当拐杖，都在消磨对方对你的尊重。想想看，贝索斯就算夜夜招妓，花费也远低于200亿离婚赡养费。

有人或许指责："Danny，一个挚爱还不够吗？你这般贪婪定是心理扭曲。"首先重申，这一切基于完全自愿。我不会胁迫任何女性接受多伴侣关系。若对方对我没有炽热爱意或无法接受共享，即便她是绝世佳人我也毫无兴趣——她要的必须是真实的我。

其次，这不止关乎性欲满足。从生物学角度看，男性天生追求数量传播，女性则筛选优质基因。这是生存法则的本真模样。

再者，俗话说"养育一个孩子需要整座村庄"。我认为孩子需要多元成长环境。传统多代同堂的模式于我不可行（我与父母关系疏离），但女友们可以组成育儿共同体。这种结构还能容纳已过生育年龄的成熟女性参与家庭生活。

现代人要求伴侣同时扮演知己、爱人、玩伴、主妇等多重角色，压力过大。而多元关系能让女性各展所长，分担不同角色，甚至获得更多自由——其他女友可以协助育儿。

所有开支由我承担，她们只需保持美丽、养育后代、享受人生并辅助我实现人生目标。

或许有人认为我将关系过度工具化。但在我看来，所有关系本质都是价值交换，只是人们讳莫如深。这不妨碍我真心关爱她们。社会本就如此运作。

关于"能否满足所有女友需求"：正式女友自然获得我全心投入，若只是 casual dating，对方当然可以另寻伴侣。

最后要分享一个尚待验证的猜想——我称之为"真理之眼"。当满足身体健康、丰富阅历和持续学习三项条件时，我就能洞见常人难察的真相。若这种能力真实存在，我就有责任通过后代传承下去。或许千百年后，某个子孙将以此造福世界。因此，选择健康优质的异国基因传承者成为逻辑必然——就像迷你版成吉思汗。

单一配偶制对我而言缺乏理性基础。我不相信所谓"灵魂伴侣"的浪漫神话，肩负着超越个人理想的使命。只要不违法，基因多样化是最合理的选择。

童年时母亲曾在家宴上让舅舅"教Danny学中文，不然没有女孩喜欢"。彼时八九岁的我将这句话烙进骨髓，成为与华裔女孩交往时的心理障碍。如今才明白：真正的吸引力超越语言藩篱。

另一个普遍存在的不安全感是关于财富的。我们的文化过度推崇"牺牲健康感情追逐金钱"的价值观。试问：若给你千万存款但只剩24小时生命，你会接受吗？可见生命时光远比财富珍贵。但多少人正在用健康兑换成功？记住：健康是只有病患才看得见的隐形王冠。

我终于领悟：金钱只是敲门砖，真正留住女人的是内在力量——你的魄力、骨气与阳刚之气。若女人因"没钱"离开，实质是你未通过她的潜意识测试。

反观自身，我认为自己已然成功：34年来的最佳体能状态，清晰的人生目标与持续行动力——这些难道不构成成功？何必非要银行账户的八位数来证明？

因此我选择视自己为认知范围内最成功富足的人。这引发出更深层的觉醒：终其一生寻找外在财富，最终发现真正的宝藏原是我自己。正如谚语所说"天堂就在心中"。几周前顿悟这一刻，我泪流满面。

我从来足够好。事实上，我卓越非凡。与生俱来的天赋经过岁月淬炼，终将证明我始终是最强大的存在。我像千层洋葱般需要慢慢剥解，是本永远读不完的故事书。

去年抑郁期接受心理治疗时，那位南非籍实习治疗师在告别时说："Danny，真希望能继续探索你的思维，你太有趣了。"的确，我就是如此特别的人。