In one of my previous posts, I mentioned how only 1 out of 15 women reply to my texts which gives me a 6.67% reply rate.
That number has gone up to about 1 out of 10 women or roughly 10%.
Why and how did it increase? Perhaps I will explain more in a future post as I still need more time to refine my texting process.
To me, texting is 80% your perceived value in her eyes and only 20% texting technique. If she views you as low status or low value, even godlike texting techniques won't work.
So anyway getting the number and texting is the first part of my dating funnel.
Recently I managed to go out on a few first dates, so I have successfully entered the second stage of my dating funnel. Let me go into some detail about the dates.
Hopefully you will gain some takeaways.
Also, these aren't the real names of the girls and I also may alter certain details to protect both their and my privacies.
Girl 3 - Rebecca
You might remember girl 3 which is Rebecca from my previous post titled 'Random Encounters with Women'. After 6 weeks of back and forth texting, like a few texts every week, I managed to get her out on a date.
I was extremely patient with this girl. Most guys want to meet women immediately within a few days after getting their phone number. Not me, I am one patient son of a gun.
If you ask a girl out on a date immediately, you reveal your hand way too soon. The mystery and chase is over for her. You have to slowly increase her buy in temperature over time.
Perhaps the only exception is if she has extremely high attraction from the start or it's a one night stand situation (which does not even involve any texting).
In most cases though, men's attraction is like a light switch. One look and a man knows if he wants to have sex with a woman. Women's attraction is a slow turn dial.
Her buy in temperature increases over time if you are doing things correctly. Which means what?
It means that men have to slow the fuck down. You have to control your lust and take things slow. This demonstrates you have patience, strength and self control.
Over time by showing that you are not in a rush to meet, her attraction for you increases slowly.
She will think why is this guy not like other men? How come he is not desperate and horny like all the other men? He seems strong and able to resist my beauty. Maybe I should check him out. That's what her internal biology tells her.
I know some guys reading this are completely disagreeing with me right now. A guy might say 'but in the past I have gotten girls out on a date quickly within a week, doesn't that mean I am more skilled than you?'.
It depends what your goal is. Are you just looking to fuck? Then yeah, if what you are doing works, keep doing it. I'm not just looking for sex though. To me, sex is not the main prize.
What I'm truly looking for is a woman's long term emotional investment, her softness and femininity.
Nowadays some modern women can just casually have sex without having any emotional investment in the man, usually one night stands.
But if a woman is head over heels with true genuine burning desire for you, she will do everything for you inside and outside of the bedroom. That is what I truly want.
Sex? That is but a small prize in my mind. The true prize is that her heart wants only me and she will not want to fuck any other man for the rest of her life. Willingly. And I don't just want one girl, I want multiple girls to feel this way towards me.
So you see, sex is only a small part of the master plan. I want to fully own a woman's feminine soul. I want them obsessed with me day and night. That's the true victory and the mark of a true player.
If all I got was just sex and I failed to get her long term obsession and emotional investment, I would not even consider it a victory for me.
Just thinking about it gets me all excited. I was never someone with small goals. I always dream big, no matter what I do. I guess I can be quite a manipulative person.
But I always see manipulation as a neutral word. It is neither good nor bad. Just like how a woman manipulates her appearance by applying makeup or managing her weight, a man should learn how to manipulate a woman's feelings such that she feels attraction for him.
It's a skill. Failing to do so would make her fall out of love with you over time. I think that both men and women need to manipulate each other constantly to keep attraction high in the relationship.
To me, manipulation on its own is not inherently bad or evil. What makes it good or bad is your intentions.
Perhaps if you continue to follow me, you may get a glimpse of the answers I discover along the way on how to achieve it.
Anyway, back to Rebecca. Initially on week 5 of texting her, I asked her out via text spontaneously to meet that same evening, but she was not free.
Now, when a girl says she is not free, what do most guys do? They immediately ask for another day when she is free.
I decided to take it slow and leave it. The following week I reopened the conversation with some other topic, and then I asked her again to meet.
She replied me the next day and said she was free to meet that very evening.
One good thing about making plans for the same day is that everything feels natural and spontaneous for the woman. So you may consider doing that if you can pull it off. It also saves you from the trouble of having to reconfirm the date.
My opinion is it also reduces the chance of a woman flaking on the date. Why? Women's mood can change from day to day. She might suddenly not feel like meeting up a few days later. But if it's the same day, chances are she will still be in the mood.
I was supposed to pick her up at 7.15pm from her condo. But she was stuck in jam coming back from work and I ended up picking her only at 8.15pm.
She does not stay very far from me, so it wasn't too much of a hassle to be spontaneous about the timing adjustments.
At 8.15pm, she got in my car, hair still wet. She just showered quickly beforehand. I think it's a good sign she is trying to take care of her hygiene for me.
As soon as she got in, she started talking continuously. I could feel she was a bit nervous. Me? I was okay. After talking to so many girls and getting phone numbers, talking to girls gets less intimidating after a while.
I drove her to Old Klang Road area for food. She didn't even ask where we were going. She completely trusted me somehow. When ordering food, in came the first in person test from her. She said 'why are you ordering coke zero? It tastes so bad'.
We know this is a very basic and subtle test from a girl to see if she can get you to change your mind. So obviously I just ordered it anyway.
As I mentioned in my previous post, Rebecca is a very talkative girl. She kept talking non stop and all I had to do was just listen. I had some tactics I wanted to try, but it seems like there was no need at all.
She literally did all the work for me. I'm unsure. Perhaps since I took 6 long weeks to increase her attraction slowly via text, I don't have to do as much work now in person. More data required to confirm this hypothesis, so don't take my word for it yet.
The whole time, the only decision she had to make was which menu item she wanted to order. Where to sit, where to go to eat, what's next on the agenda and everything else I decided without even consulting her.
I am leading her and she is complying by following. This is the correct male to female dynamic. There is no hesitation on my part on any of the decision making. By me being the leader, I am in my masculine energy and I am pushing her into her feminine energy.
I also want to mention that Rebecca is an ESTP in the Myers Briggs Test Indicator (MBTI). How do I know?
I spent a year or 2 studying how to type people. I think over time I can fully map out how different women act and test men based on their MBTI type. I will need to date lots of women though, so it will take some time.
You see, a woman wants to turn her brain off on a date. She just wants to be in her emotions and be along for the ride, wherever you bring her. She wants to forget about all the stresses of her day to day life and just have fun in the moment.
I think that's what happened with Rebecca. She felt safe to open up to me about everything in her life. I'm just listening and nodding and giving some simple responses.
After an hour, I decided to end the date and send her back home. When I dropped her off, she stuttered while saying 'I really had a nice time'. The crazy part is I didn't really do much at all other than make all the decisions and also listen to her feelings.
15 minutes after dropping her off I received a text. She said she had a great time and that the next round is her treat.
Some guys might be wondering, why didn't I invite her back to my home? I could have tried, but I felt it wasn't necessary for me. I don't mind taking things slow.
Here is the thing guys. The brighter the flame, the quicker the burn. Relationships that start off fast and furious also end fast and furious. By building things up slowly over time, it's going to last longer. And it's going to be sturdier.
I did end up going on a second date recently with her in which things didn't exactly go as planned and I made some big mistakes, but I think I will get to that in another future post.
I give myself a 7/10 score on this date. I feel like it was a standard and safe first date template most guys can use. But I think there are many ways I could improve and more risk I could take to increase her attraction even higher. Need more first dates to explore and experiment.
…………
Girl 7 - Yana
Yana is a girl from Myanmar. I always thought that Myanmar people don't speak good English. However, surprisingly more of them speak English than Vietnamese or Thai people apparently.
There is a war going on in Myanmar now, so when she got a job offer to work in Malaysia 7 months ago, she immediately decided to come. She says it's much safer here than back home.
She is a 6.5/10 appearance wise. But if she lost about 5 or 6kgs, she would definitely go up to even a 7.5/10 in my opinion and could be an 8 if she toned up a bit in the gym. She is much more feminine than Rebecca. She is an ISFJ if I'm not mistaken.
Mental note: ESTPs tend to be more masculine than ISFJs in general, regardless of gender.
Initially when speaking to her, she told me she was looking for a new room somewhere in KL, and I told her it's possible I could help her with that.
She also opened up about her worried and struggling with life and surviving. She remarked that it felt really good talking to me and she doesn't know why she opened up to a stranger like me. I guess I made her feel safe? I am unsure.
Anyway, when I texted her later, it turns out that she already booked some place and didn't need my help that much. Strange.
Because she could have said that as an excuse not to give me her number. I wonder if she had interest in me from the start. Maybe she felt I was a good bet for her survival.
One thing led to another and we started chatting about other topics. Her texting pattern is strange. If she is off working hours, she replies insanely fast. It's so instant until it's almost as if we were talking on the phone.
She asked to call me to talk because she wanted to ask about some issues with her tenancy and wanted my opinion. I agreed. Normally if a girl wants to call you that's a good sign. However, you as a man should not be calling a girl unless it's something logistics or logic related.
Why? Because there is no reason for you to be calling a girl. The only exception is if you met on a dating app and want to do a video call to see if you guys have any chemistry before deciding to meet up.
If you met her in real life and got her number, in most cases you won't need to call her. Texting or occasional voice message is fine. Keep your investment low, you don't know this girl after all.
She called and we spoke for 15 minutes. Normally, as a man, it is better to withhold your masculinity (like your care, protection and provisioning) early on. Why?
Well, let me ask you. Do girls give their femininity away to men easily? Things like cooking, cleaning, serving. Absolutely not. They withhold it until later on in the relationship. So why are you as a man giving away your masculinity so easily? Again, you don't know this woman yet.
Women instinctively know how use their femininity strategically. If more men learned how to date like a woman, they would have much better dating success.
Anyway, for Yana, I made an exception. She wanted my masculine judgement on what she should do with her tenancy issue. I decided to give it to her, even though in theory I should not.
I suppose part of me also was just feeling a bit sorry for her situation and wanted to help even if it risks lowering attraction. So I am making a conscious decision knowing the consequence. If I handled the call well it shouldn't be too bad.
After consulting her, she felt that she could make a good decision now and thanked me for my help. I could have kept talking but decided to end the call at 15 minutes.
I needed to be the one to leave first, not her. Dragging on the call would only show that I am craving her attention so much and signals low value.
After the call ended, I did not text her at all until the following week. A lot of guys will be eager to continue texting the woman every single day. This is a mistake. You need to be the one as the man to create distance.
This signals strength because it shows you don't need to be in constant communication with her. Being able to be independent and completely comfortable alone is a masculine trait. Women are the ones who need security and companionship.
As a man, you need to learn how to be happy being alone. It's a skill for sure.
You see guys, sometimes it's not about what you do, it's about what you DON'T do. You need to have some internal strength and discipline to NOT constantly seek her attention.
She will feel your strength subconsciously. In some ways, it's just like a sales funnel. Do you text your customer and follow up every single day? No. Why not? Because it's needy, desperate behaviour. No one likes that.
So after 3 to 4 weeks of texting Yana on and off, I arranged to meet up with her on a Friday evening. I asked for Wednesday at first, but she was meeting her friend and she countered with Friday.
Normally I would just postpone it to another week if she turns down my initial asking day. But she said can we please meet on Friday. So I agreed since I felt that she seemed keen.
To be honest, I'm not sure if this was a test and I failed. The safer choice would have been to say no I'm not free and tell her we will meet another week.
Anyway, it was a Tuesday when I set the date with her for 6.15pm Friday. Told her I would pick her up from her workplace in KL.
When Friday came, I texted her around 2pm telling her that I would see her later at 6.15pm.
She responded with 'oh really??'. I was not that surprised.
When I set dates a few days in advance with women I always expect them to flake, which I am completely fine with. It is a chance for me to demonstrate strength.
So when she responded that way, I simply texted back saying that it's completely fine if she didnt know I was coming, and we can just meet up another day.
I was being emotionally non reactive and showing non neediness this way. Lo and behold, she responded saying it's fine, that she didn't have anything going on that evening and we can still meet.
I guess it was also helpful that I'm already seeing Rebecca and also texting a bunch of other girls. It made it easier for me to feel non needy.
So I arrived around 6.15pm at her workplace to pick her up. As soon as she got in the car she asked where we were headed. I said ice cream.
She asked why ice cream? Shouldnt we go dinner first?
This is another test. Actually normally logically yes, we should eat dessert after dinner. But I felt in the mood for ice cream first. So I should stick to my plan and just told her to go along with it and not to think too much.
Notice that I'm getting her out of her head so she stops thinking about logic. I needed her to let go and be in her emotions.
At the ice cream cafe she initially wanted to just get a latte since she didn't really like ice cream. But earlier she told me how much she likes durian, and I told her she should try the durian ice cream here.
In the end she changed her mind and followed my recommendation. So I got a durian ice cream and 1 other flavour on top of a hot freshly made waffle.
And you know what? She actually enjoyed the durian ice cream much more than she expected. You see, now she starts to trust my masculine judgement even more.
I leaned into it and told her that every decision I make is always correct. She doesn't need to question it or even make a single decision. She agreed. I am getting her to feel that she just needs to follow my leadership and all will be good.
Let me be real with you folks who are reading this. In reality, I am honestly not that confident in my decision making, and many times I have trouble making quick decisions.
However, in front of the woman you are dating, you need to be decisive. You need to show that you are 100% confident in where you are going and all she has to do is follow. No hesitation.
That's why I had to think in advance a little about where I'm going and what I'm going to order. Yes, you can say it's a little fake, but I'm just doing what it takes to increase her attraction for me.
After ice cream, I brought her to some noodle shop for dinner. The whole time I was just bantering with her back and forth and teasing one another.
Yana is a bit more reserved than Rebecca. Where Rebecca won't stop talking, Yana leaves space for me to talk too. Sometimes there is silence, and that is completely normal in any conversation.
As a guy, you should show the girl that you are able to sit in silence too once in a while and you don't have to force yourself to say something unless it comes to you naturally. Silence can even create some sexual tension.
After ice cream, I brought her to a noodle shop, where she asked me to help her decide which dish to choose for her as well.
Normally on first dates, I think it shouldn't be that long. 1 hour max. I kind of dragged this too long to 2 hours since we went to 2 locations for food. So I think next time I have to reduce.
There is one more thing I think I messed up a little bit. After dinner, I offered to drive her home. She actually told me it's fine if I just dropped her off at the train station nearby.
I think I should have just done that. By sending her all the way home, I kind of sense I am showing a little too much care upfront for a girl I just only went on one date with. It's just that at that moment I could not overcome my social conditioning to be a nice to women.
Remember, men should withhold their masculinity, just as women withhold their femininity in the initial stages of dating.
She also kept walking too close to cars that were passing by when we were walking on the road and I had to pull her closer into the crosswalk.
This one I think even though it does show masculinity by me protecting her, it can't be helped. I don't want her to get hit by a random car while on a date with me. That would be more trouble for me than it's worth.
I know some guys are completely disagreeing with me on this whole withholding masculinity thing. It's not that you never give any masculinity, she just has to earn it from you over time.
If she doesn't earn it from you, she won't value it. Trust me, she wants to be able to earn it from you, even if she does not admit it.
Ask all the nice guys being subservient and submissive to their wives. Do their wives actually respect them? Probably not.
It's because nice guys keep giving their masculinity away to their wife regardless of how badly she treats him in the relationship. It creates an unhealthy dynamic.
Imagine if as a man, no matter how abusive you were to a woman, she would still give you sex anytime. Would you bother to treat her well? No you would not. It's the same concept. Don't reward bad behaviour.
After sending Yana home, I received a text soon after telling me how much of a great time she had just like what Rebecca sent me. She also verbally told me that next time it's her treat.
Sometimes I feel like girls are so predictable. They do the same thing. Yana and Rebecca responded similarly when I gave them a similar date experience.
I give myself a 6/10 score with this date. I made more mistakes by dragging it on too long and showing too much masculinity upfront.
Over time I plan to fully decode female biology down to it's bare bones with my mental analysis. I will map out the entire dating funnel from start to finish into an easily digestible logical framework for fellow men to understand.
I guess instead of studying computer programming, I'm naturally better at and more interested in studying human programming. Specifically female code, it's much more complex and interesting than male coding.
Someone or something programmed humans, just like how we humans programmed computers. The code within female nature appears to be a mystery to many people. But to me, I feel like I can read it, I just need more time and in field experience.
So who programmed us? Is it God? Perhaps it is a question I will not find an answer to in this current lifetime of mine. I feel like that's a duty for a future descendant of mine. Humanity is not yet at a point where we can find objectively and scientifically true answers to such questions.
One thing is for sure though, I am way more passionate about this than I thought. And it seems like many guys are still clueless about dating and could use my insights. Perhaps this is the path for me to take.
In Chinese:
与女性的初次约会
在我之前的一篇文章中，我提到过只有大约 1/15 的女性会回复我的信息，回复率是 6.67%。
这个数字现在已经上升到大约 1/10 的女性，或者说大约 10%。
为什么会增加以及如何增加的？也许我需要在未来的文章中详细解释，因为我还需要更多时间来完善我的发信息流程。
对我来说，发信息 80% 取决于你在她眼中的感知价值，只有 20% 是发信息技巧。如果她认为你地位低或价值低，即使是神级的发信息技巧也无济于事。
总之，拿到号码和发信息是我约会漏斗的第一部分。
最近我成功出去进行了几次初次约会，所以我成功进入了我的约会漏斗的第二阶段。让我详细谈谈这些约会。
希望你能从中获得一些启示。
另外，这些不是女孩的真名，我也可能更改某些细节以保护她们和我的隐私。
女孩 3 - Rebecca
你可能还记得我上一篇题为《与女性的随机邂逅》中的女孩 3，Rebecca。经过 6 周的来回发信息，比如每周几条信息，我成功约她出来见面了。
我对这个女孩极其有耐心。大多数男人在拿到电话号码后的几天内就想立刻见面。我不一样，我是个非常有耐心的家伙。
如果你立刻约一个女孩出去，你过早地暴露了你的底牌。对她来说，神秘感和追逐感就结束了。你必须随着时间的推移，慢慢增加她的"投入温度"。
也许唯一的例外是，如果她从一开始就对你极具吸引力，或者是一夜情的情况（这甚至不需要任何发信息）。
但在大多数情况下，男人的吸引力像一个电灯开关。看一眼，男人就知道他是否想和一个女人上床。女人的吸引力则像一个缓慢旋转的调光旋钮。
如果你做对了，她的"投入温度"会随着时间的推移而增加。这意味着什么？
这意味着男人必须他妈慢下来。你必须控制你的欲望，慢慢来。这展示了你有耐心、力量和自控力。
随着时间的推移，通过表现出你不急于见面，她对你的吸引力会慢慢增加。
她会想，为什么这个家伙不像其他男人？为什么他不像所有其他男人那样饥渴和好色？他看起来很强大，能够抵抗我的美貌。也许我应该见见他。这就是她内在的生物本能告诉她的。
我知道现在读到这里的一些家伙完全不同意我的观点。一个家伙可能会说："但过去我曾在一周内就快速约到女孩出去，这是不是意味着我比你更有技巧？"
这取决于你的目标是什么。你只是想上床吗？那么，是的，如果你所做的有效，那就继续做吧。但我不仅仅是在寻找性。对我来说，性不是主要奖励。
我真正寻找的，是一个女人长期的情感投入、她的温柔和女性气质。
如今，一些现代女性可以随意发生性关系，而对男人没有任何情感投入，通常是一夜情。
但如果一个女人对你有着真正、纯粹、炽热的渴望，她会在卧室内外为你做一切。这才是我真正想要的。
性？那在我心中只是一个小小的奖励。真正的奖励是她的心只想要我，并且她心甘情愿地，在余生中不想再和任何其他男人上床。而且我不只想要一个女孩，我想要多个女孩对我有这种感觉。
所以你看，性只是这个宏伟计划的一小部分。我想要完全拥有一个女人的女性灵魂。我想要她们日夜都迷恋着我。这才是真正的胜利，也是一个真正玩家的标志。
如果我得到的只是性，而未能得到她长期的痴迷和情感投入，我甚至不会认为这对我来说是一场胜利。
光是想想就让我兴奋不已。我从来不是一个目标渺小的人。无论我做什么，我总是胸怀大志。我承认我可能是个相当会操纵的人。
但我一直认为"操纵"是一个中性词。它既不好也不坏。就像女人通过化妆或管理体重来操纵她们的外表一样，男人应该学习如何操纵女人的感受，使她对你产生吸引力。
这是一项技能。做不到这一点，会让她随着时间的推移对你失去爱意。我认为男女双方都需要不断地相互"操纵"，以保持关系中的吸引力。
对我来说，操纵本身并非天生是坏的或邪恶的。决定其好坏的是你的意图。
也许如果你继续关注我，你可能会瞥见我在探索如何实现这一目标的过程中发现的答案。
好了，回到 Rebecca。在给她发信息的第 5 周，我曾 spontaneously 发信息约她当晚见面，但她没空。
那么，当一个女孩说她没空时，大多数男人会怎么做？他们会立刻问她哪天有空。
我决定放慢节奏，暂时不提。接下来的一周，我用其他话题重新开启了对话，然后再次约她见面。
她第二天回复我说，她那天晚上正好有空。
当天制定计划的一个好处是，对女人来说，一切感觉都很自然和 spontaneous。所以如果你能做到，可以考虑这样做。这也省去了你再次确认约会的麻烦。
我的看法是，这也能降低女人临时爽约的几率。为什么？女人的情绪可能一天一变。她可能几天后突然又不想见面了。但如果是当天，很可能她仍然有心情。
我本来应该在晚上 7:15 去她的公寓接她。但她下班回来时堵车了，我最终直到 8:15 才接到她。
她住得离我不太远，所以对于时间上的调整，随机应变并不算太麻烦。
晚上 8:15，她上了我的车，头发还是湿的。她只是事先快速冲了个澡。我认为这是一个好迹象，表明她在为我注意她的卫生。
她一上车，就开始不停地说话。我能感觉到她有点紧张。我呢？我还好。在和这么多女孩聊天、拿到这么多电话号码之后，和女孩聊天变得不那么令人生畏了。
我开车带她去了 Old Klang Road 附近吃饭。她甚至没问我们要去哪里。不知何故，她完全信任我。点餐时，她进行了第一次当面测试。她说："你为什么点零度可乐？味道太差了。"
我们知道这是女孩一个非常基本和微妙的测试，看看她是否能让你改变主意。所以很明显，我还是点了。
正如我上一篇文章中提到的，Rebecca 是个话很多的女孩。她不停地说话，我要做的就是听着。我本来想尝试一些策略，但似乎完全没必要。
她几乎替我完成了所有工作。我不太确定。也许是因为我花了 6 周时间通过发信息慢慢增加了她的吸引力，所以现在当面我就不需要做那么多工作了。需要更多数据来证实这个假设，所以先别完全相信我的话。
整个过程中，她唯一需要做的决定就是她想点哪个菜单项。坐哪里，去哪里吃，接下来的安排是什么，所有其他事情我都未经与她商量就决定了。
我在引导她，而她通过跟随来顺从。这是正确的男性对女性的动态。我在做任何决定时都没有丝毫犹豫。通过我作为领导者，我处于我的 masculine energy，并将她推入她的 feminine energy。
我还想提一下，Rebecca 在迈尔斯-布里格斯类型指标中是 ESTP。我怎么知道？
我花了一两年时间学习如何给人分类。我想随着时间的推移，我可以完全根据不同女性的 MBTI 类型来描绘她们如何行动和测试男人。不过我需要约会很多女性，所以这需要一些时间。
你看，女人在约会时想关闭大脑。她只想沉浸在情绪中，跟着你走，无论你带她去哪里。她想忘记日常生活的所有压力，只是在当下享受乐趣。
我想 Rebecca 就是这样。她感到安全，可以向我敞开心扉谈论她生活中的一切。我只是听着，点点头，给出一些简单的回应。
一小时后，我决定结束约会，送她回家。当我送她下车时，她结结巴巴地说："我真的很开心。" 疯狂的是，我除了做所有决定和倾听她的感受之外，其实并没做什么。
放下她 15 分钟后，我收到了一条信息。她说她玩得很开心，下次轮到她请客。
有些家伙可能想知道，为什么我没有邀请她回我家？我可以尝试，但我觉得对我来说没必要。我不介意慢慢来。
伙计们，事情是这样的：火焰越亮，燃烧得越快。开始得又快又猛的关系，结束得也又快又猛。通过随着时间的推移慢慢建立关系，它会持续更久，也会更稳固。
我最近确实和她进行了第二次约会，但事情并没有完全按计划进行，我犯了一些大错误，不过我想我会在未来的另一篇文章中谈到。
我给自己这次约会打 7/10 分。我觉得这是一个大多数家伙都可以使用的标准且安全的初次约会模板。但我认为有很多方法可以改进，我可以冒更多风险来进一步提高她的吸引力。需要更多的初次约会来探索和实验。
…………
女孩 7 - Yana
Yana 是来自缅甸的女孩。我一直以为缅甸人英语说得不好。然而，令人惊讶的是，他们中说英语的人的比例显然比越南人或泰国人高。
缅甸现在正在发生战争，所以当她在 7 个月前得到一份在马来西亚的工作机会时，她立刻决定过来。她说这里比家乡安全得多。
外貌方面她大概是 6.5/10。但如果她减掉大约 5-6 公斤，在我看来她绝对能上升到 7.5/10，如果她在健身房稍微塑形一下，甚至可能是 8 分。她比 Rebecca 更有女人味。如果我没弄错的话，她是 ISFJ。
心理笔记：ESTP 通常比 ISFJ 更偏 masculine，无论性别。
最初和她交谈时，她告诉我她正在 KL 某处找新房间，我告诉她我可能可以帮忙。
她还向我倾诉了她的担忧以及为生活和生存而挣扎。她说和我聊天感觉很好，不知道为什么向我这样的陌生人敞开心扉。我想我让她感到安全？我不确定。
总之，后来我给她发信息时，发现她已经订好了地方，不太需要我的帮助了。奇怪。
因为她本可以以此为借口不给我她的电话号码。我怀疑她从一开始就对我有兴趣。也许她觉得我是她生存的一个好选择。
一来二去，我们开始聊其他话题。她的发信息模式很奇怪。如果是在下班时间，她回复得极快。快到几乎就像我们在打电话一样。
她要求打电话给我，因为她想询问一些租约问题，想听听我的意见。我同意了。通常如果一个女孩想给你打电话，这是个好迹象。然而，作为男人，你不应该给女孩打电话，除非是 logistics 或逻辑相关的事情。
为什么？因为你没有理由给女孩打电话。唯一的例外是，如果你们是在约会应用上认识的，并且想在决定见面之前进行视频通话，看看彼此是否有化学反应。
如果你在现实生活中认识她并拿到了她的号码，在大多数情况下你不需要打电话给她。发信息或偶尔发语音信息就可以了。保持你的投入度较低，毕竟你还不了解这个女孩。
她打了电话，我们谈了 15 分钟。通常，作为男人，最好在早期保留你的 masculinity（比如你的关怀、保护和供养）。为什么？
那么，让我问你。女孩会轻易地把她们的 femininity 交给男人吗？比如做饭、打扫、服务。绝对不会。她们会保留到关系发展的后期。那么为什么你作为男人要如此轻易地付出你的 masculinity？再说一次，你还不了解这个女人。
女性本能地知道如何策略性地运用她们的 femininity。如果更多男人学会像女人一样约会，他们的约会成功率会高得多。
总之，对于 Yana，我破例了。她希望我就她的租约问题给出男性的判断。我决定提供给她，尽管理论上我不应该。
我想我的一部分也是有点同情她的处境，想帮忙，即使这有可能降低吸引力。所以我是在明知后果的情况下做出了清醒的决定。如果我电话处理得好，应该不会太糟。
咨询我之后，她觉得现在可以做出好的决定了，并感谢我的帮助。我本可以继续谈下去，但决定在 15 分钟时结束通话。
我需要成为先离开的那个人，而不是她。拖延通话只会表明我极度渴望她的关注，是低价值的表现。
通话结束后，我直到下一周才给她发任何信息。很多家伙会渴望每天继续和这个女人发信息。这是一个错误。作为男人，你需要成为创造距离的一方。
这表明了力量，因为它显示你不需要与她保持 constant 沟通。能够独立且完全舒适地独处是一种 masculine trait。女人才是需要安全感和陪伴的一方。
作为男人，你需要学会如何快乐地独处。这当然是一种技能。
你看，伙计们，有时候不在于你做了什么，而在于你没做什么。你需要有一些内在的力量和纪律来不 constantly 寻求她的关注。
她会潜意识地感受到你的力量。在某种程度上，这就像一个销售漏斗。你会每天给你的客户发信息并跟进吗？不会。为什么不？因为这是 needy、desperate 的行为。没人喜欢那样。
所以在断断续续地给 Yana 发了 3 到 4 周的信息后，我安排在一个周五晚上与她见面。我起初约的是周三，但她要见朋友，她改到了周五。
通常，如果她拒绝我最初约的日子，我会直接推迟到另一周。但她说我们能不能周五见。所以我同意了，因为我觉得她似乎很感兴趣。
老实说，我不确定这是否是一个测试而我失败了。更安全的选择是说不我没空，告诉她我们改周再见。
总之，那是个周二，我和她约好了周五下午 6:15。告诉她我会去她在 KL 的工作地点接她。
周五到了，我在下午 2 点左右给她发信息，告诉她我稍后 6:15 会到。
她回复说："哦，真的吗？？" 我并不那么惊讶。
当我提前几天和女人定好约会时，我总是预期她们会爽约，我对此完全无所谓。这是一个展示力量的机会。
所以当她那样回复时，我只是回信息说，如果她不知道我要来，完全没关系，我们可以改天再见。
我这样表现出了情感上的无反应和非需求感。你瞧，她回复说没关系，她那天晚上没什么事，我们仍然可以见面。
我想这也得益于我已经在见 Rebecca，并且还在和一群其他女孩发信息。这让我更容易感到没有需求感。
于是我在 6:15 左右到达她的工作地点接她。她一上车就问我们要去哪里。我说去吃冰淇淋。
她问为什么是冰淇淋？我们不是应该先吃晚餐吗？
这是另一个测试。实际上，按逻辑通常是的，我们应该晚餐后吃甜点。但我想先吃冰淇淋。所以我应该坚持我的计划，就告诉她跟着来，别想太多。
注意到我正在让她脱离她的头脑，这样她就不再思考逻辑。我需要她放手，沉浸在情绪中。
在冰淇淋咖啡馆，她起初只想点一杯拿铁，因为她不太喜欢冰淇淋。但之前她告诉我她多么喜欢榴莲，我告诉她应该试试这里的榴莲冰淇淋。
最后她改变了主意，听从了我的建议。所以我点了一份榴莲冰淇淋和另一种口味，搭配一个新鲜制作的热华夫饼。
你知道吗？她实际上比预期中更喜欢那个榴莲冰淇淋。你看，现在她开始更加信任我的男性判断了。
我顺势而为，告诉她我做的每一个决定都是正确的。她不需要质疑，甚至不需要做任何一个决定。她同意了。我让她感觉到，她只需要跟随我的领导，一切都会好。
让我跟读这篇文章的各位说实话。现实中，我其实对自己的决策并不是那么自信，很多时候我很难快速做出决定。
然而，在你约会的女人面前，你需要表现得果断。你需要表现出你 100% 自信你要去哪里，而她所需要做的就是跟随。不要犹豫。
这就是为什么我必须事先稍微考虑一下我要去哪里以及要点什么。是的，你可以说这有点假，但我只是为了提高她对我的吸引力而做必要的事。
吃完冰淇淋后，我带她去了家面馆吃晚饭。整个过程中，我们只是互相调侃、开玩笑。
Yana 比 Rebecca 更拘谨一些。Rebecca 会不停地说，而 Yana 也会留出空间让我说话。有时会有沉默，这在任何对话中都是完全正常的。
作为一个男人，你应该向女孩展示你也能够偶尔安于沉默，你不必强迫自己说些什么，除非是自然流露。沉默甚至能制造一些性张力。
吃完冰淇淋后，我带她去了家面馆，在那里她也请我帮她决定选哪道菜。
通常初次约会不应该那么长。最多 1 小时。我这次有点拖得太长了，去了两个地方吃东西，所以长达 2 小时。所以我想下次必须缩短时间。
还有一件事我觉得我搞砸了一点。晚饭后，我主动提出开车送她回家。她实际上告诉我，如果我只是把她放在附近的地铁站也没关系。
我想我本该就那么做的。把她一路送回家，我有点感觉我对一个才第一次约会的女孩表现出了过多的关怀。只是那一刻我无法克服我 social conditioning 下要对女人好的习惯。
记住，男人应该保留他们的 masculinity，就像女人在约会初期保留她们的 femininity 一样。
当我们走在路上时，她也一直走得太靠近过往的车辆，我不得不把她拉近到人行横道上。
这一点，我认为即使这确实通过我保护她而展现了 masculinity，但也无法避免。我不想她在和我约会时被随机驶过的车撞到。那会给我带来更多麻烦。
我知道有些家伙完全不同意我这种保留 masculinity 的观点。这并不是说你从不给予任何 masculinity，她只是需要随着时间的推移从你这里赢得它。
如果她没有从你这里赢得它，她就不会珍惜它。相信我，她希望能够从你这里赢得它，即使她不承认。
问问所有对妻子卑躬屈膝、顺从的"老好人"。他们的妻子真的尊重他们吗？很可能不。
这是因为无论妻子在关系中如何恶劣地对待他，老好人都不断地把自己的 masculinity 给予她。这造成了一种不健康的动态。
想象一下，作为一个男人，无论你如何虐待一个女人，她仍然随时愿意给你性。你还会费心去善待她吗？你不会。这是同一个概念。不要奖励不良行为。
送 Yana 回家后，我很快收到了一条信息，和 Rebecca 发给我的一样，告诉我她玩得多么开心。她也口头告诉我下次她请客。
有时我觉得女孩们太可预测了。她们做同样的事。当 Yana 和 Rebecca 获得了相似的约会体验时，她们的反应也相似。
我给自己这次约会打 6/10 分。我犯了更多错误，把约会拖得太长，并且过早地展示了过多的 masculinity。
随着时间的推移，我计划用我的心理分析将女性生物学完全解码到最本质的程度。我将把整个约会漏斗从头到尾绘制成一个易于理解的逻辑框架，供男性同胞们理解。
我想，与其学习计算机编程，我天生更擅长、也更感兴趣的是研究人类编程。特别是女性代码，它比男性代码复杂和有趣得多。
某人或某物编程了人类，就像我们人类编程计算机一样。女性本性中的代码对许多人来说似乎是个谜。但对我来说，我觉得我能读懂它，我只是需要更多时间和实地经验。
那么，是谁编程了我们？是上帝吗？也许这个问题在我今生无法找到答案。我觉得这是我未来某个后代的责任。人类还没有达到能够客观、科学地找到这类问题答案的阶段。
但有一件事是肯定的，我对此的热情远超我的想象。而且似乎很多男人仍然对约会一无所知，可以利用我的见解。也许这就是我应该走的道路。