*Disclaimer*: in this journal entry, I do objectify both myself and the women I meet by giving a rating score based on superficial metrics. It is required in order for me to run objective analysis on attraction. It is not meant to disrespect or dehumanize anyone. With that in mind, enjoy
*Random Encounters with Women*
The past few months or so I have met a bunch of women. I had some interesting experiences. All the names I list down below are not their actual names. And I may modify certain information without sacrificing the main gist of the story to protect my privacy.
*Girl 1 - Mae*
Mae is from Thailand. The way I met her is almost like out of a storybook. I was near an apartment area around 9pm one night, when I suddenly saw two Malay men talking to a Thai girl. It turns out they were two off duty policemen interrogating her. They were not wearing their uniform.
I asked them what is going on. I didn't know it yet, but later on I will find out from the girl that they were actually trying to get some money out of her. They were looking through her phone to see (probably illegally) if there was anything they can catch her on. It's also possible they suspected her of being a prostitute. Anyway, it is very predatory behaviour from them.
Eventually they decided to let her go since there was nothing on her phone, and also now I guess I am some sort of a witness to their somewhat questionable shakedown of this woman and they just didn't want more trouble. She was leaving the condo to go to her sister's place. I decided to give her a ride in my car.
She was quite traumatised from the experience. She said she doesn't ever want to come back to Malaysia again.
In the car, I was still stunned at what was happening. I'm fetching a random Thai girl back to her sister's place which is in Bukit Jalil. We both laughed at how ridiculous this whole situation was. Somehow I have become her rescuer? It really felt like a scene out of a movie.
I jokingly told her to call me again if she is in trouble and that I'll be her superman. She joked back saying I'm her ironman because that's who she likes more. I guess the vibe was good and there was some flirtation.
I asked if she likes Malaysian food. She says she prefers Thai food, and so I jokingly threatened to drop her off at the police station which caused her to howl in laughter. She asked if I was Chinese, and I said yes. She said she prefers Chinese over Indian or Malay because she likes lighter skin. I really didn't know how to respond to that.
After many more jokes about random stuff, we finally arrived outside her sister's condo. Before dropping her off, we exchanged numbers and I told her to text me. What a random but fun night.
.........
*Girl 2 - Kotomi & Kanzaki*
I randomly met 2 Japanese girls who were here for a business trip. They were in their mid 20s, here to give a talk at one of the colleges. Kotomi is a decent looking woman, she is not fat but her body build is slightly larger or slightly big boned.
Kanzaki on the other hand, she has a slim figure and her breast size was somewhere between B to C cup which is totally my type. She is about 167cm which makes her have this model like figure. Like if she wore a bikini, she would have that middle line on her abs, giving her abs that twin tower appearance that fit girls have. Only thing is she has slightly curly and short hair. Still my type though looks wise. I would give her 8/10, and if she ever grows out her hair until long she would be an 8.5/10 for me in terms of beauty.
The problem is that even though I am into Kanzaki's appearance, she understands English decently but isn't confident to speak it. So mostly I am talking to Kotomi who I am much less interested in. Not that Kotomi is ugly or anything, I give her a solid 7/10. Kotomi has excellent English.
We spoke about so many things like anime and Japanese culture. I even made really funny nonsensical jokes about the anime Naruto. I would randomly yell certain special moves from the anime in Japanese like 'kagebunshin no jutsu' (shadow clone technique) or 'kuchiyose no jutsu' (summoning technique) which got them both laughing non stop due to how random and absurd it is to hear such Japanese words coming out from the mouth of a Chinese boy like me.
We spoke about 'Hikikomori' which is a Japanese term for people who are socially outcast and stay home all the time in Japan and 'Karoshi' which is the Japanese term for working till death. They were so surprised at my random Japanese knowledge.
Towards the end, Kanzaki whispered to Kotomi 'Malaysia otoko yi neh' which I think roughly translates to 'Malaysian guys are so awesome'. I think she didn't know I understood what she said. But naturally I just acted like I didn't understand as I didn't want to embarrass her, though maybe I missed a chance to tease her about it. Well, to be fair, I don't think it applies to all Malaysian guys, probably just me. So I guess she is lucky to meet me.
By the end, I could visibly see Kanzaki react very positively to me. Like she was just so happy to engage with me. I did exchange contact with both of them in the end. However with these foreign girls, I wonder if dating them is even an option with how rarely they will be in Malaysia.
........
*Girl 3 - Rebecca*
Rebecca is a local Chinese. I think she is in her early to mid 30s. So I guess around my age. Rebecca is a bit interesting because she is very extroverted. Normally I have to initiate conversations. But with her, I can say one or two sentences and then she can talk for a long time.
Her English is also above average. So far I think she is the easiest one to talk to because I don't have to talk very much at all since she does all of it. Appearance wise she is around 6.5 or 7/10 depending on how dressed up she is. And most importantly for me she is on the slimmer side.
She may have interest in me because from what she told me, she lives with her brother and her brother's girlfriend in a condo. Which means she does not have a boyfriend. Otherwise she would be living with him.
A girl like her who works a normal corporate job probably doesn't meet that many guys outside and probably none of the guys at her workplace interest her. And since she is getting older, her options with men also decrease over time. For these reasons I do think she considers me a potential romantic option.
Another thing I noticed. I find that she is a bit masculine and direct with her communication style. I guess some guys may get turned off by that or she may come off as a bit fierce and non feminine. I'm fine though with it so far due to how easy it is to talk to her (or rather how little I need to even say), even though I naturally prefer more feminine girls. I did get her contact, let's see how things go.
.......
*Girl 4 - Fiona*
Fiona is a girl from China. She and I have been messaging back and forth for a few months. I'm not really in a rush to meet her. Looks wise she is also around 6.5 or 7/10. She is slim, in fact I think you can say she is even thin.
She studies computer science so she is a bit on the nerdier side, wears glasses. Not that I mind. She speaks some English, so we do manage to communicate with some mix of English and Mandarin.
I don't know why I'm not in a rush to meet her. It's weird. Normally guys will be in a rush to meet a woman. I guess it's because I have been meeting and talking to so many women, I don't really feel that itchy or thirsty.
She may lose interest in me at some point if I don't meet up with her soon, but it's fine, plenty of fish in the sea. Will play by ear.
......
*Girl 5 - Scarlet*
Scarlet is actually one of my tenants. I found her a room near her college. She is a local Bidayuh girl from East Malaysia, naturally quite pretty and she is slim with slightly darker skin. Very short I think 155cm. So she has a cute and slim build with slightly darker skin. She does have a bit of curves too, more so than Kanzaki. I give her looks an 8 or 8.5/10. Some guys would probably even rate her a 9/10 since she is also so young and youthful. There is something radiant about young girls. Most girls lose that radiance in their older age because they don't take care of themselves.
The interesting about Scarlet is that she has a male classmate who is super into her. During viewing she always brings him along. But she always refers to him as a friend, not boyfriend. The dude is also about her age. Young and inexperienced. I can see it because I think he is making so many mistakes trying to chase Scarlet and get her to be his girlfriend.
Here is a secret about dating. Girls don't like the guys who like them. They also don't want the guys who want them. He is so obviously telegraphing to her through his actions and demeanor how much he likes her.
During move in day, he helps her to transfer all her things from her previous condo to this new condo. And he even paid for the movers. I'm not sure if they are already in a relationship at this point. I think he is way over investing his time and effort. Even if they do end up together, I foresee that she will eventually get repelled by his weakness and find someone else.
A man traditionally thinks that if he invests more in a woman, she will like him more. That couldn't be further from the truth. Male logic is the reverse of female feelings. She will feel subconsciously that he is putting her too high on a pedestal with not much effort required from her part to earn his loyalty. It's only because she is beautiful in his eyes that he is willing to do all that. This signals that he has gone weak to her beauty.
As for me, I don't really care or mind if she is together with him. There are so many other girls. However, if my prediction is correct and he continues behaving in a weak manner, she will seek male attention sooner or later from other guys in her circle.
Another thing l will say is that a lot of guys take dating way too seriously. They see this one beautiful girl and think she is the one and just focus all his attention onto her. This is a suboptimal strategy. Often times the girl gets attention she did not earn and just loses interest over time.
Or even if they do end up in a relationship, the dynamic will be such that the guy is submissive to the girl. Sexual polarity will be low which leads to disrespect and lower frequency of sex. I rather not be in such a relationship.
Guys often ask what if she doesn't like me back? What if she is seeing another guy? What if I lose her? What if she doesn't reply to my text? What if what if what if?
Who cares brother. The less you care about any one girl, the better your dating life will be. Detachment equals peace. Remember, a man's masculine purpose comes first.
......
*Girl 6 - Janet*
The other day I was out around Taman Desa having my lunch. Suddenly a voice called out to me. 'Danny, is that you?'.
I turned around and saw my old highschool mate. She is now 35 years old. I would rate her about 7 or 7.5/10 at her peak. Now I would say for me she is a 6/10. I can see she gained some weight. She has what I call 'Grandma Arms'. Which is when fat starts to accumulate around the arm covering the bicep and tricep. In my honest opinion, Grandma Arms are super ugly. Maybe because it makes them look more like a grandma.
To think it has been nearly 20 years since we were in high school together. How things have changed.
She asked me if I still talk to her younger brother and sister. Which I have not. I'm rather bad at maintaining old friendships. That day I happened to be wearing a tight fitting shirt. I could tell she felt that I am looking fit and better than ever compared to my younger years. It almost felt like she had some physical attraction towards me.
It's funny how guys and girls can age in completely opposite directions as they get older.
Me and her have some history. She used to say I have very nice emerald looking eyes while we were in the same class together. I was young and naive and didn't know what to do. So I mostly just ignored her compliments. And I just think my eyes are normal looking? I guess beauty is subjective.
For every guy, there will be a small percentage of girls for whom your appearance, vibe or personality will just appeal to them naturally. I guess Janet just found me naturally appealing to her personal tastes, at least looks wise, even 20 years ago.
Not long after, her boyfriend came out from their car behind her. I greeted him and secretly thought 'so this is the best she feels she can do'. Since she is 35, she probably knows she won't get any younger. This is the guy she plans to settle with. She has been with more fit and handsome guys in the past. This one seems like a standard nice guy. I don't know much about him beyond his appearance. But I could easily tell he is not a Renaissance Man.
My stance on girls who have boyfriends is that I usually don't pursue anything with them. You might think it's because I'm such a good guy with morals. Actually no, its simply because I believe there are so many other girls I can talk to. If a guy's only option is to focus on a girl who already has a boyfriend, then that guy has a way bigger problem. Lack of optionality. A man must learn to create options for himself when dating.
If I know the boyfriend personally as a friend, then that girl is even more off limits to me. Not worth risking friendship over a woman. Eventhough I'm morally ambiguous, I actually do have some social ethics. Ethics and morals are different, ask chatgpt if you are unsure what that is.
......
Now, you may think wow Danny, you have so many options. The truth is that a woman's feelings are often temporary and in the moment. She may have enjoyed talking to me, but it doesn't mean I should get my hopes up too high. In reality many of them will end up not responding to me and will be seeing other guys eventually.
Just like muscle building, I need reps. I need to keep talking to girls. More and more and more girls to get the experience I need. News flash, if you put effort into becoming rich, you become rich. You don't automatically become good with women.
Currently I would say I have some decent chance with the girls I deem to be 6 or 7/10. With the girls who are 8/10 and above, so far I think they rarely consider me an option for them. With the exception of Janet and Scarlet, these are all girls who I met cold, I had no previous ties to any of them. Basically cold leads. There are a few other girls that I haven't mentioned, maybe not important enough to mention at the moment.
......
Recently I also spoke on a phone call with someone who I deem the closest to being a Renaissance Man. To recap, a Renaissance Man is someone who has both internal (masculinity and internal strength) and external high value (looks, money, status) and has mastery over female nature. He is an American dude. Let's call him Adam (not his real name).
I told him that for every 15 phone numbers I get, only 1 woman responds to me when I text them. That's about 6.67% reply rate. I don't count girls who are staying overseas like Mae, Kotomi and Kanzaki. Also to clarify, I only get phone numbers from girls I would be willing to have sex with, which means they are at least a 6.5/10 physically for me. This is subjective to some degree because I think I am picky with girls, so my 6.5 could be other men's 7 or 8/10. If I lower my standards and am willing to date girls who are 4 or 5/10, I probably would get higher than 6.67% reply rate.
Anyway, I asked Adam why this is the case and what could I do to have a higher success rate. He simply told me bluntly "it just means you are not attractive". I responded with "but sometimes the vibe is good when I'm talking to them". And he said "to you it may feel good, but the fact that so few of them text you back is proof that from the girls' point of view it is not as good as you think it is. It's like a sales funnel. If you are getting leads, and almost none are converting, it means that the product has issues, a.k.a you."
My heart sank. I felt so crushed. I have already put in a lot of effort, but it's still not enough and I'm still considered very unattractive? At least to the girls I deem 6.5/10 and above. It was so hard for me to hear these words.
Then I asked "well how do I become more attractive?". He said "you need to spend a long time becoming more attractive in every way, shape and form. Internally, externally. Looks, money, status, masculinity. Gain every single advantage that you can in order to stack the deck in your favour. If you were Brad Pitt, do you think your reply rate would be only 6.67%?"
After the call ended, I just sat and thought about how brutal and unforgiving women's filtering system can be. Especially the hotter they are. But there is absolutely no point complaining. Looks like I have a lot more work to do.
Some of you might say that you have seen ugly guys with really hot girls, so their filtering can't be that strict. Remember that internal value also plays a role. To you, that guy may seem low value, but to her, she sees him as a high value man because of how he behaves. Maybe he is the only guy she has met that is unaffected by her beauty. So to her, he appears strong compared to all other guys that go weak for her beauty. Plus maybe he is also rich. There are many layers to female attraction mechanisms.
Ultimately, this whole thing is a sales funnel. Or you can call it a dating funnel. I have some decent interactions in stage 1, but getting to the stage 2 which is getting them out on a date is the current part of the pipeline I need to solve. Let's see how things go.
I know I have it inside of me to be the most attractive version of myself. I owe it to all the women I will come to date and most importantly, I owe it to myself.
I will not die an unattractive man.
*This post ends here. The rest below is about a non-dating experience that I just want to journal down. You may stop reading if you wish.*
.....
This is a real story that happened to me. The other day I randomly met this homeless 27 year old Indian guy. He is from East Malaysia. He speaks fluent Mandarin. Let's call him Joe. Joe landed in Puchong 6 months ago and I met him somewhere in KL a few weeks ago. He has been homeless for the whole time. He had no money at all and has been looking for a part time job for 6 months and couldn't find one.
He explained that his father passed away end of last year. He was adopted into a Chinese family when he was young, so he is not his parents' biological son. And hence why he speaks fluent Chinese even though he is Indian. His parents have two biological children (one boy and one girl) who are pure Chinese.
Joe considers them as his real siblings even though they are technically his younger step bro/step sis. So when his younger step bro got married, he willingly signed over his house and car to his younger stepbrother. Yes, he transferred all his possessions to his younger step bro.
When their father passed away last year, the younger brother and sister decided to trick him. Originally, the father divided the assets among all 3 of his children including Joe, but the younger step bro and step sis asked Joe to sign a legal document, claiming it was to confirm his inheritance of the assets from his father's will.
Joe didn't read it, as he fully trusted his younger step siblings. It turns out the document he signed was to actually revoke his rights to all the assets given to him from his father's will and to instead transfer it to the step brother and step sister. This is pure evil.
When I heard this story, I was disgusted at the injustice. You know what the saddest thing was? Joe still loves his step siblings. I asked him why he doesn't want to take legal action for this trickery? He says he doesn't want to cause disharmony. And he didn't even tell his step mom about this whole incident because he doesn't want to hurt his family.
The step siblings truly do not deserve an elder brother like him. He is more willing to be homeless and suffer rather than to risk breaking the family up.
He told me that for the past 6 months being homeless, everyday he slept on the streets. People would spit on him while he was sleeping and he was even robbed a few times. He would get food from leftovers behind restaurants or from dustbins. This young 27 year old guy who speaks fluent Mandarin had to resort to eating food from a dustbin and sleep on the streets and be continually harassed. I couldn't believe it.
He finally got a part time job at a bar in KL. His pay? RM12 for every 30 customers that he manages to usher into the bar. That is crazy low.
I pulled out RM100 from my wallet and handed it to him. I told him that 1% of everything I earn is for charity. So I was looking to give it away anyway, and I felt it was better to give it to him rather than a charity organisation. He was extremely touched by my gesture and started crying.
To me, it was just logical. It is a waste of potential if this young guy didn't get back up on his feet. I am sure with his ability to speak Mandarin he will be able to contribute to society positively once he gets back up on his feet.
With tears streaming he said he will get a room that night. He hasn't slept on a bed in over 6 months and just wants to be able to sleep in one for a night.
Meeting him made me realize how fortunate I am. We get used to all the privileges we have and take it all for granted.
I got his contact number and sent him details of a soup kitchen in KL. Last I heard, they are providing him meals for free daily, as the soup kitchen is not far from his workplace so he can walk there.
Also, I was interested to help him because I can see he was not a freeloader. He is willing to work for it. And I believe this experience will turn him into a strong man. We need more strong men in society. So that's why yes, I helped him, but I didn't want to help too much until I took away his opportunity for growth. Pain and suffering has its role to play in strengthening a man. I think I did my part.
I didn't help him because I was morally good. I just don't like seeing unfairness and injustice in the world. He might not wish for anything bad to happen to his step siblings, but all I can say is that based on their behaviour, they will eventually bring about about their own downfall.
So that's it. Who could imagine a devil like me could do a good deed? That certainly wasn't on my bingo card. Life is so interesting if you take the chance to explore it.
Chinese Translation:
*与女性的随机邂逅*
过去几个月左右，我遇到了不少女性。我有了一些有趣的经历。下面列出的所有名字都不是她们的真名。并且我可能会在不牺牲故事主旨的情况下修改某些信息，以保护我的隐私。
*女孩 1 - Mae*
Mae 来自泰国。我遇见她的方式简直像小说里的情节。一天晚上快9点的时候，我在一个公寓区附近，突然看到两个马来男人在和一个泰国女孩说话。结果他们是两个下班后的警察在盘问她。他们没穿制服。
我问他们怎么回事。我当时还不知道，但后来从那个女孩那里得知，他们实际上是想从她那里弄点钱。他们正在翻看她的手机（可能是非法的），看能不能找到她什么把柄。也有可能他们怀疑她是性工作者。总之，他们的行为非常具有掠夺性。
最终他们决定放她走，因为她手机里没什么东西，而且现在我想我也算是他们这次有点可疑的敲诈行为的某种目击者，他们不想惹更多麻烦。她当时正要离开公寓去她姐姐家。我决定用我的车送她一程。
她对这次经历心有余悸。她说她再也不想回马来西亚了。
在车里，我仍然对正在发生的事情感到震惊。我正在送一个随机的泰国女孩回她位于 Bukit Jalil 的姐姐家。我们都觉得这整件事太荒谬了，笑了起来。 somehow 我成了她的救星？真的感觉像电影里的场景。
我开玩笑地告诉她，如果再遇到麻烦就给我打电话，我会是她的超人。她开玩笑回说我是她的钢铁侠，因为她更喜欢钢铁侠。我想当时气氛很好，有点调情的意味。
我问她喜欢马来西亚食物吗。她说她更喜欢泰国菜，于是我开玩笑地威胁说要把她在警察局放下车，惹得她哈哈大笑。她问我是不是华人，我说是。她说她喜欢华人胜过印度人或马来人，因为她喜欢较浅的肤色。我真不知道该怎么回应那句话。
在开了许多关于随机事情的玩笑之后，我们终于到了她姐姐的公寓外面。在她下车之前，我们交换了电话号码，我让她给我发信息。多么随机但有趣的夜晚。
.........
*女孩 2 - Kotomi 和 Kanzaki*
我随机遇到了两个来这里出差的日本女孩。她们二十多岁，来这里在一所学院做讲座。Kotomi 长得不错，她不胖，但骨架稍微大一点或者说体型稍大。
另一方面，Kanzaki，她身材苗条，胸围大约在 B 到 C 罩杯之间，完全是我的菜。她大约 167 厘米高，这让她有一种模特般的身材。就像如果她穿比基尼，她的腹肌上会有那条中线，让她的腹肌呈现出健身女孩那种双塔外观。唯一一点是她有点卷曲的短发。不过从外貌上看，仍然是我的菜。我会给她 8/10，如果她把头发留长，对我来说美貌程度会是 8.5/10。
问题是，尽管我喜欢 Kanzaki 的外貌，她英语理解能力不错，但不敢开口说。所以大部分时间我都在和 Kotomi 说话，而我对 Kotomi 的兴趣要小得多。并不是说 Kotomi 丑什么的，我给她一个扎实的 7/10。Kotomi 英语非常好。
我们聊了很多事情，比如动漫和日本文化。我甚至开了关于动漫《火影忍者》的非常搞笑、无厘头的玩笑。我会随机用日语大喊动漫里的某些忍术，比如「影分身之术」或「口寄せの術」（通灵之术），这惹得她们笑个不停，因为从一个像我这样的华人男孩嘴里听到这样的日语单词实在是太随机、太荒谬了。
我们聊到了「引きこもり」（家里蹲），这是日语中对日本社会隐士、一直呆在家里的人的称呼，还有「過労死」（过劳死），意思是工作到死。她们对我随机的日语知识感到非常惊讶。
最后，Kanzaki 对 Kotomi 耳语说「マレーシア 男 いいね」，我猜大概意思是「马来西亚男人真不错」。我想她不知道我听懂了。但我自然装作没听懂，因为不想让她尴尬，不过也许我错过了一个借此逗她的机会。嗯，说实话，我不觉得这适用于所有马来西亚男人，可能只适用于我。所以我想她遇到我很幸运。
到最后，我能明显看到 Kanzaki 对我反应非常积极。她好像非常开心和我互动。最后我和她们两个都交换了联系方式。不过对于这些外国女孩，考虑到她们很少来马来西亚，我不知道和她们约会是否可行。
........
*女孩 3 - Rebecca*
Rebecca 是本地华人。我觉得她三十出头到三十中。所以大概和我年纪相仿。Rebecca 有点意思，因为她非常外向。通常我需要主动开启对话。但和她在一起，我可以说一两句话，然后她就能聊很久。
她的英语也高于平均水平。到目前为止，我觉得她是最容易交谈的一个，因为我根本不需要说太多话，因为话都被她说了。外貌方面她大约 6.5 或 7/10，取决于她打扮的程度。而且对我来说最重要的是，她属于偏瘦的那边。
她可能对我有兴趣，因为据她告诉我，她和她哥哥以及哥哥的女朋友住在一个公寓里。这意味着她没有男朋友。否则她会和男朋友住在一起。
像她这样做普通公司工作的女孩，在外面可能遇不到很多男人，而且她工作单位的男人可能没有一个让她感兴趣。加上她年纪渐长，她对男人的选择范围也会随着时间的推移而减少。基于这些原因，我确实认为她把我视为一个潜在的浪漫选择。
我注意到的另一点是，我发现她的沟通方式有点偏男性和直接。我猜有些男人可能会对此感到反感，或者她可能显得有点凶、不够女性化。不过我目前还能接受，因为和她交谈太轻松了（或者更确切地说，因为我甚至不需要说什么），尽管我天生更喜欢女性化的女孩。我确实拿到了她的联系方式，看看事情如何发展。
.......
*女孩 4 - Fiona*
Fiona 是来自中国的女孩。我和她断断续续发信息已经几个月了。我并不急着见她。外貌方面她也是 6.5 或 7/10 左右。她很苗条，事实上我觉得甚至可以说她偏瘦。
她学计算机科学，所以她有点书卷气，戴眼镜。我倒不介意。她会说一些英语，所以我们能用英语和普通话混合交流。
我不知道为什么我不急着见她。很奇怪。通常男人会急着见女人。我想是因为我一直在见很多女人、和很多女人聊天，所以我并没有感到那么饥渴。
如果我不尽快和她见面，她可能在某個时候对我失去兴趣，但没关系，天涯何处无芳草。顺其自然吧。
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*女孩 5 - Scarlet*
Scarlet 其实是我的一个租客。我在她学院附近给她找了个房间。她是来自东马的本地比达友族女孩，天生相当漂亮，身材苗条，皮肤稍黑。很矮，大概 155 厘米。所以她体型娇小苗条，皮肤稍黑。她确实也有点曲线，比 Kanzaki 更明显。我给她的外貌打 8 或 8.5/10。有些男人甚至可能给她 9/10，因为她也很年轻，充满青春气息。年轻女孩有一种光彩照人的东西。大多数女孩年纪大了就会失去那种光彩，因为她们没有好好保养自己。
关于 Scarlet 有趣的一点是，她有一个男同学超级喜欢她。看房时她总是带着他。但她总是称他为朋友，不是男朋友。那家伙年纪也和她相仿。年轻且缺乏经验。我看得出来，因为我觉得他在追 Scarlet 想让她成为他女朋友的过程中犯了太多错误。
关于约会有一个秘密。女孩不喜欢那些喜欢她们的男孩。她们也不想要那些想要她们的男孩。他通过他的行为和态度如此明显地传达出他有多喜欢她。
搬家那天，他帮她把所有东西从她之前的公寓搬到这个新公寓。他甚至付了搬家工人的钱。我不确定他们那时是否已经在一起了。我觉得他过度投入了他的时间和精力。即使他们最终在一起，我预见她会最终因为他的软弱而感到排斥，并找到别人。
男人传统上认为，他在一个女人身上投入越多，她就越喜欢他。这大错特错。男性的逻辑与女性的感受是相反的。她会潜意识里觉得他把她捧得太高，而她几乎不需要付出什么努力就能赢得他的忠诚。他只是因为她在他眼中美丽才愿意做所有这些。这信号表明他已经屈服于她的美貌而变得软弱。
至于我，我其实不在乎她是否和他在一起。还有很多其他女孩。然而，如果我的预测正确，而他继续表现软弱，她迟早会从她圈子里的其他男人那里寻求男性关注。
另外我想说的是，很多男人对待约会太认真了。他们看到一个漂亮女孩就觉得她是真命天女，然后把所有注意力都集中在她身上。这是次优策略。通常女孩得到了她并未努力赢得的关注，时间长了就失去了兴趣。
或者即使他们最终建立了关系，其动态也会是男方顺从女方。性吸引力极性会很低，导致不尊重和性生活频率降低。我宁愿不要这样的关系。
男人们经常问，如果她不喜欢我怎么办？如果她在见另一个男人怎么办？如果我失去她怎么办？如果她不回我信息怎么办？如果……如果……如果……
谁在乎呢，兄弟。你对任何一个女孩越不在乎，你的约会生活就会越好。超脱即平和。记住，男人的 masculine purpose 是第一位的。
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*女孩 6 - Janet*
前几天我在 Desa 附近吃午饭。突然一个声音叫我。「Danny，是你吗？」
我转过身，看到了我的老高中同学。她现在 35 岁了。巅峰时期我给她打 7 或 7.5/10。现在对我来说她大概是 6/10。我看得出她胖了一些。她有我所謂的「奶奶臂」。就是当脂肪开始堆积在手臂上，覆盖住二头肌和三头肌的时候。老实说，我觉得奶奶臂超级丑。也许是因为这让她们看起来更像奶奶。
想想看，距离我们高中毕业已经快 20 年了。物是人非。
她问我是否还和她弟弟妹妹联系。我没有。我很不擅长维持旧日的友谊。那天我碰巧穿了一件紧身衬衫。我能感觉到她觉得我看起来身材健壮，比年轻时状态更好。几乎能感觉到她对我有些身体上的吸引力。
有趣的是，随着年纪增长，男人和女人可能朝着完全相反的方向发展。
我和她之间有些历史。我们同班时，她曾说过我有一双非常漂亮的翡翠色眼睛。我当时年轻天真，不知道该怎么办。所以我大多只是无视她的赞美。而且我觉得我的眼睛很正常？我想审美是主观的。
对每个男人来说，总会有一小部分女孩，你的外貌、气场或个性恰好自然符合她们的个人品味。我想 Janet 就是觉得我自然符合她的个人品味，至少在外貌上是这样，即使在 20 年前也是如此。
不久之后，她的男朋友从她身后的车里出来了。我跟他打了招呼，心里暗想：「这就是她觉得她能找到的最好的人了。」既然她 35 岁了，她大概知道自己不会再年轻了。这是她计划与之安定下来的人。她以前交往过更健壮、更英俊的男人。这个看起来像是个标准的老好人。除了他的外貌，我对他了解不多。但我很容易看出他不是一个 Renaissance Man。
我对有男朋友的女生的立场是，我通常不追求与她们有任何发展。你可能会以为是因为我是个有道德的好人。其实不是，仅仅是因为我相信我还可以和很多其他女孩聊天。如果一个男人的唯一选择是专注于一个已经有男朋友的女孩，那么这个男人有更大的问题：缺乏选择权。男人必须学会在约会中为自己创造选择。
如果我个人认识那个男朋友，是朋友，那么那个女孩对我来说就更不能碰了。不值得为了一个女人冒破坏友谊的风险。尽管我在道德上有些模糊，但我实际上确实有一些社会伦理。伦理和道德是不同的，如果不确定可以问 ChatGPT。
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现在，你可能会想，哇 Danny，你这么多选择。事实是，女人的感觉常常是暂时的、一时的。她可能喜欢和我聊天，但这并不意味着我应该抱太高的期望。现实中，她们很多人最终不会回复我，并且最终会去见其他男人。
就像肌肉锻炼一样，我需要重复次数。我需要不停地和女孩聊天。越来越多、越来越多的女孩，以获得我需要的经验。新闻快报：如果你努力变得富有，你就会富有。你不会自动变得擅长与女人相处。
目前，我会说我对那些我认为 6 或 7/10 的女孩有不错的机会。对于那些 8/10 及以上的女孩，到目前为止，我觉得她们很少把我视为她们的选择。除了 Janet 和 Scarlet，这些都是我冷认识的女孩，我和她们之前没有任何联系。基本上是冷线索。还有几个女孩我没有提到，可能目前不重要，不值得提。
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最近我还和一个我认为最接近 Renaissance Man 的人通了电话。重申一下，Renaissance Man 是指拥有内在（男子气概和内在力量）和外在高价值（外貌、金钱、地位）并且精通女性本性的人。他是个美国哥们。我们叫他 Adam（不是他的真名）。
我告诉他，每拿到 15 个电话号码，只有 1 个女人在我发信息时会回复我。回复率大约是 6.67%。我不算那些住在海外的女孩，比如 Mae, Kotomi 和 Kanzaki。另外澄清一下，我只获取那些我愿意与之发生关系的女孩的电话号码，这意味着她们在外貌上对我来说至少是 6.5/10。这在某种程度上是主观的，因为我觉得我对女孩很挑剔，所以我的 6.5 分可能是其他男人的 7 或 8/10。如果我降低标准，愿意约会 4 或 5/10 的女孩，我的回复率可能会高于 6.67%。
总之，我问 Adam 为什么是这样，我该怎么做才能提高成功率。他直接 bluntly 告诉我：「这只意味着你没有吸引力。」我回答说：「但有时候我和她们聊天时感觉气氛很好啊。」他说：「对你来说可能感觉很好，但事实上这么少的人回复你，证明从女孩的角度来看，并不像你觉得的那么好。这就像一个销售漏斗。如果你获得了潜在客户，但几乎没有一个转化，那就说明产品有问题，也就是你。」
我的心沉了下去。我感到非常受打击。我已经付出了很多努力，但仍然不够，我仍然被认为非常没有吸引力？至少对我认为 6.5/10 及以上的女孩来说是这样。这些话让我难以承受。
然后我问：「那我怎样才能变得更有吸引力？」他说：「你需要花很长时间在方方面面、各种形式上变得更有吸引力。内在的，外在的。外貌、金钱、地位、男子气概。获得你能获得的一切优势，让几率对你有利。如果你是布拉德·皮特，你觉得你的回复率会只有 6.67% 吗？」
电话结束后，我坐着思考女性的筛选系统是多么残酷和无情。尤其是她们越火辣，越是如此。但抱怨绝对没有意义。看来我还有更多工作要做。
你们有些人可能会说，你见过丑男配辣妹，所以她们的筛选不可能那么严格。记住，内在价值也起作用。对你来说，那个男人可能看起来价值低，但对她来说，她认为他是一个高价值男人，因为他的行为方式。也许他是她遇到的唯一一个不受她美貌影响的男人。所以对她来说，与所有其他屈服于她美貌的男人相比，他显得强大。再加上可能他也很有钱。女性吸引机制有很多层。
最终，这整件事就是一个销售漏斗。或者你可以称之为约会漏斗。我在第一阶段有一些不错的互动，但进入第二阶段，即把她们约出来见面，是我目前渠道中需要解决的部分。看看事情如何发展吧。
我知道我内心有潜力成为最有吸引力的自己。我欠所有我将要约会的女人一个交代，最重要的是，我欠我自己一个交代。
我不会至死都是一个没有吸引力的男人。
*此文到此结束。以下内容是关于一次与约会无关的经历，我只是想记录下来。您可以选择停止阅读*
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这是一个发生在我身上的真实故事。前几天我随机遇到了一个 27 岁的印度流浪汉。他来自东马。我们说中文叫他 Joe。Joe 六个月前到了蒲种，我在几周前在吉隆坡某处遇见了他。他这整整六个月一直无家可归。他身无分文，找了六个月兼职工作但找不到。
他解释说他的父亲去年年底去世了。他小时候被一个华人家庭收养，所以他不是他父母的亲生儿子。因此他虽然是个印度人却能说流利的中文。他的父母有两个亲生的孩子（一个男孩一个女孩），是纯华人。
Joe 把他们当作自己真正的兄弟姐妹，尽管从技术上讲他们是他的继弟/继妹。所以当他的继弟结婚时，他自愿把他名下的房子和车签给了他的继弟。是的，他把所有财产都转让给了他的继弟。
当他们的父亲去年去世后，继弟和继妹决定欺骗他。原本，父亲把资产分给了所有三个孩子，包括 Joe，但继弟和继妹让 Joe 签一份法律文件，声称是为了确认他从父亲遗嘱中继承的资产。
Joe 没有细读，因为他完全信任他的继弟妹。结果他签的文件实际上是放弃父亲遗嘱中给予他的所有资产的权利，并将其转让给继弟和继妹。这纯粹是邪恶。
当我听到这个故事时，我对这种不公感到恶心。你知道最悲哀的是什么吗？Joe 仍然爱他的继弟妹。我问他为什么不想对这种欺诈行为采取法律行动？他说他不想造成家庭不和。他甚至没有把这件事告诉他的继母，因为他不想伤害他的家人。
继弟妹真不配拥有像他这样的哥哥。他宁愿无家可归、受苦，也不愿冒着破坏家庭完整的风险。
他告诉我，过去六个月无家可归，每天他睡在街上。人们在他睡觉时朝他吐口水，他甚至被抢劫了好几次。他得从餐馆后面的剩饭或垃圾桶里找食物。这个 27 岁、能说流利中文的年轻人，不得不靠吃垃圾桶里的食物、睡在街上、不断被骚扰来度日。我简直不敢相信。
他终于在吉隆坡的一家酒吧找到了一份兼职工作。他的报酬？每成功招揽 30 个顾客进入酒吧，他得到 12 令吉。低得离谱。
我从钱包里掏出 100 令吉递给他。我告诉他，我收入的 1% 是做慈善的。所以我反正也打算捐出去，我觉得给他比给慈善机构更好。他被我的举动深深感动，哭了起来。
对我来说，这很合乎逻辑。如果这个年轻人不能重新站起来，是对潜力的浪费。我相信凭借他说中文的能力，一旦他重新站起来，将能够为社会做出积极贡献。
他泪流满面地说他那晚要去租个房间住。他已经超过 6 个月没有在床上睡过觉了，只想能睡一晚床。
遇见他让我意识到我是多么幸运。我们习惯了所拥有的一切特权，并认为理所当然。
我拿到了他的联系方式，并给他发送了吉隆坡一个施食处的详细信息。我最后听到的消息是，他们每天免费为他提供膳食，因为施食处离他工作的地方不远，他可以步行过去。
另外，我之所以有兴趣帮助他，是因为我看得出他不是一个想不劳而获的人。他愿意为之工作。而且我相信这段经历会把他变成一个坚强的男人。社会需要更多坚强的男人。所以，是的，我帮助了他，但我不想帮助太多以至于剥夺他成长的机会。痛苦和磨难在强化一个男人方面有其作用。我想我尽了我的责任。
我帮助他不是因为我在道德上是个好人。我只是不喜欢看到世界上的不公平和不公正。他可能不希望他的继弟妹发生任何坏事，但我只能说，基于他们的行为，他们最终会自取灭亡。
就是这样。谁能想象像我这样的魔鬼会做一件好事？这肯定不在我的预料之内。如果你有机会去探索，生活是如此有趣。