It's been almost a year since I wrote my first ever post on this blog. I wonder if everyone is having a good time reading and if any of the advice I gave has been helpful.
Personally for me, I've made decent progress in this period. I do have a rotation of women I'm seeing, all of them have healthy levels of attraction for me.
The crazy thing is that I am not rich, I don't have any real social media following and I don't have any status. I'm slightly decent looking and that's about it.
Traditionally speaking, one would say that a man should not even be dating if he doesn't have his career and money figured out.
Many of my friends also told me in the past that I just need to get rich and the women will come.
What they didn't tell me is that it was possible for me to just skip the whole getting rich part and just go straight to learning how to be attractive to women.
I can't even blame them for telling me that. Because truthfully money does help if you have it in a general sense, not just for women. Plus it's not like they knew the real answer to female attraction.
I realize I could never follow the conventional path in life. So here I am. No money, no status, decent looks, but with a rotation of women. Sometimes I find it hard to believe that this is really happening.
To be clear, I'm not here to boast about myself to you guys. I still make mistakes and I'm just at the beginning of my masculinity journey. I still have so much to learn.
I would only consider myself a master at dating if I can juggle a rotation of 5 women at the same time who are at least a 9/10 in physical beauty, while being in King's frame, not Servant's frame. And believe me I'm still far from that level right now.
So what have I learned about the dating game so far?
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The Game
What is the dating game? How does it work? Is dating actually a game? Isn't it supposed to be about love? And isn't love supposed to be serious?
To me, dating is one of the most fun games to play in life. But it's only fun if you understand the rules.
Some people take dating seriously. They don't think it's a game at all. To them it's about searching for a life partner. So to these people, treating it as a game is disrespectful.
Even if you ask most women, they will usually give a very proper or serious answer. They often say that they are dating to look for a husband, not to play around.
The truth is however that most women will not make it so easy for you to date them.
As a man, you know exactly what I'm talking about. You text the girl and she doesn't reply for a long time. You wonder if you texted something wrong. Sometimes she never texts back and just plain ignores you.
You are stuck wondering if you should double text. You think to yourself, maybe she didn't see your message. You feel your self-esteem rapidly drop and anxiety increases with every hour that passes in which she did not reply.
You double text. No reply. Maybe a week later she texts back and says she accidentally missed your message. Maybe you don't even get that text at all. The conversation goes cold and you never hear from her again.
Or maybe you agreed to meet the girl for a date at a certain time and day at a certain location. Last minute she tells you some issue came up and has to cancel or postpone.
You feel disappointed. Maybe you feel disrespected even, but despite that feeling, you agree to reschedule because you desperately want to see her.
All she says is she will let you know. Then you never hear from her again.
As a man you think to yourself, what the fuck? Why can't women just stick to their words? Why can't she just be honourable like us men? Why does she say one thing and act a different way? Why does she give me hope and take it away?
You finally ask yourself the golden question: What's with all these GAMES?
Here is the saddest thing. No one will tell you the truth. Most people will just tell you that this was a bad woman and you should go look for a good girl.
The truth is that this is just female nature in general. This is just how they are. You have to learn to accept it.
If you ask women, they will NEVER reveal the truth to you either. I have never had a woman explain the dating game to me. Not even once.
To be fair, I'm not sure they could explain it to me logically even if they tried. They do these things subconsciously based on natural feminine instincts.
I can guarantee you that as a guy, most of your female friends have ghosted men before, left men on read, played mind games with men, flaked on dates last minute, and they will never admit to you they did it. All this while appearing good, nice and proper on the outside.
So why does this happen?
Before I reveal the answer, I need to point out that it is pointless to hold any grudges towards women for their behaviour. Why blame a fish for acting and behaving like a fish?
Instead of being bitter, why not learn how a fish operates and adapt to it? That's how you become a great fisherman.
Now that we have the correct mindset in place which is free from bitterness, let us continue.
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The Untold Secret Rules of Dating
What are the rules of the dating game? I'm going to come at it from the male perspective.
As a man, here is rule number 1:
If you immediately reveal that you like a woman, the game is over.
Recently I watched Singles Inferno season 5 the netflix dating show. There were 3 men named Sunghun, Hyeonwoo and Hyeonjae.
These 3 guys directly and openly expressed how much they liked the women they were interested in from the very beginning of the show. They each were interested in a different girl.
These 3 girls ended up dating other guys instead. Well, Sunghun did get the girl in the end but only because the girl didn't want to leave the show alone. He was just her backup to save face and after the show ended they never dated.
Why do these men not get chosen? You see, women need to have their emotions engaged.
If you just come out and tell her you like her, she has nothing left to wonder about. The mystery is gone. The game is basically over before it began.
Since the game is over, there is no excitement or any uncertainty. There would be no room for her emotions to grow for you or for her mind to wonder.
If you don't believe me, you can try and go up to a woman you are interested in and just tell her you love her or even confess to her. Chances are she may be nice about it, but her biology will tell her to run away from you.
There is a caveat. She needs to consider you an option first in order for you to even get to play the dating game with her. If not, you need to increase your Sexual Market Value (SMV) and also you should probably move on to the next girl.
But didn't I say earlier in this post that I didn't need money or status to get girls? Yes and no.
I want to clarify that since I started this blog, I have gotten over 150 WhatsApp numbers.
Just based on sheer quantity alone, even if my success rate was only a few percent, that's still a few girls out of 150 girls.
If I had money and status, that percentage would probably increase.
Because I worked so hard to meet so many girls, eventually some girl is going to like me enough to want to play the dating game with me despite me not having any money or status. Instead of money and status, I had hard work and patience as a replacement.
The current version of you has a success rate too. By working on increasing your SMV and also improving your dating game, your success rate will increase over time.
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Rule number 2:
You have to be able to communicate your subtle interest in her without verbally or directly saying it.
Also known as flirting. It's basically like charades. It comes out in your tone of voice and how you say things.
Again, if you say things too directly, there is no mystery, and once she becomes certain about your feelings too soon, she loses interest and moves on to the next guy.
Women are very sensitive to your subcommunication. 2 guys could say the exact same words and have different affects on a woman's emotional state due to the way it is being said.
There is no need to compliment her on her beauty, that is too direct and she probably heard it so many times before.
Even if you want to compliment her, choose something that she has conscious control over, like perhaps she demonstrated good behaviour towards you or has good style.
As for how to actually talk to women, perhaps I will dedicate a full post to this topic sometime in the future.
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Rule number 3:
Your perceived interest level in her can never be higher than her actual interest level in you.
Why? If your interest level is higher than hers, you start over pursuing, over complimenting, over validating.
The more you do all these things, the more certain she will become about how you feel towards her and the mystery is over.
Once that happens, her interest level drops and her biology will tell her to move on to the next guy.
So to err on the side of caution you need to learn how to regulate your interest level. Never let it go too high. Me personally I never let myself go above 70% interest level in any girl.
To summarise, this is a game of who likes who more. And if she knows for sure that you like her too early on before she develops an emotional attachment to you, she will move on to the next guy.
I think many guys are going to come out and say that this is such a childish game that is only played by immature people.
I'm sorry to tell you, but if you keep thinking that way, only a very small and tiny percentage of women will be an option for you to date.
Because most women automatically disqualify you once you show that you have no understanding of how the dating game works.
Also, I want you to understand that this game has a very important purpose. Women play the dating game in order to test and weed out weak men.
I mean, put yourself in a woman's shoes. How else would you test a man you are interested in? It's not like you can ask a man if he is strong. Talk is cheap. Strength needs to be demonstrated through testing, not spoken.
Think about it. What does it say about a man who reveals his interest level immediately? This man doesn't even know the girl and is already willing to commit to her.
He is falling to his lust for her physical beauty. This shows lack of self control and internal strength. It's weakness.
But every Disney or Hollywood movie will tell you it's a sign of strength to be honest about how you feel with a girl upfront. The movie industry is just creating more weak and clueless men in my honest opinion.
Every single part of the dating game is designed to test a man's internal strength. You need to be aware of this and learn to accept it as a necessary requirement for women's survival. If you don't pass the tests, truthfully you don't deserve her.
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The Game Never Ends
Here is the biggest pitfall most men unknowingly face eventually.
Even if you got the girl and got married to her, in all honesty, the dating game never ends.
Guys make the mistake of getting too comfortable after getting married.
They think all is well now and he has locked the girl down.
But over time he fails all the small tests or games his wife puts in front of him.
Slowly over time she starts to feel unsafe and lose attraction for him.
Eventually the woman either leaves him or cheats on him with a different man.
The rules still apply. You cannot let her ever be too certain about how you feel towards her.
Yes you told her you love her, but occasionally there needs to be drama injected into the relationship to create uncertainty. Otherwise she will get bored.
Treat it as a chess game. You have to make some kind of move to spice things up every once in a while.
Maybe due to being busy you didn't pick up her calls or reply to her for a full day.
Maybe you usually say I love you before hanging up the phone but you 'accidentally' didn't say it a bunch of times.
Whatever it is, make some move to spice things up every once in a while. Get creative with it.
Is it toxic and manipulative? That depends on how you look at it.
Think of it like playing a board game with your woman. In the board game, there could be a need for bluffing and lying in order to win.
Within the context of the game, you both lie and deceive one another in order to win. It's all in the name of good fun.
Outside of the game you are back to your normal selves.
If you see relationships as a serious thing, this will be a difficult thing for you to accept.
But if you see it as just a fun game where you are roleplaying a specific role, then it becomes less of an issue.
You need to be able to compartmentalize the dating game from the relationship.
Because women cannot stay in a happy state for very long due to how much their emotions fluctuate from day to day or even hour to hour.
So if things get stale, they will start injecting drama themselves into the relationship just to have some emotional stimulation. If she is the one injecting drama, you are already losing her.
You as a man need to be the one preemptively injecting drama in an unpredictable manner to keep the dating game fun, fresh and ongoing.
As a man I know what you're thinking. What if you inject drama and this causes her to break up with you? First of all, either the drama comes from you or it's going to come from her. At least if it comes from you, you have more control over it.
Secondly, never fear losing a woman. The more you fear losing her, the more she senses weakness in you and will test you more and you actually risk losing her for real.
Thirdly, like everything else, you need to practice. You will get better at injecting drama in such a way that it gives her the emotional stimulation she craves, but without the relationship going to hell.
I know the next thing you're thinking, is that is it truly necessary to have these mind games in relationships? As a man, you want to just have peace. I totally get it.
So if you refuse to play these mind games, you will need to find other ways of providing emotional stimulation to her regularly. It could be playing video games, board games, doing some outdoor activity etc.
Would it be enough without the mind games? I guess that depends. As long as you keep her interest level in you at 85% and above, you should be fine.
The point is that as a man you can never get too comfortable in a relationship. To you, things being peaceful means things are going well. But in her view things could be getting stale and boring. This could cause her to look at other men for emotional stimulation. Don't let your guard down.
So many people are going to disagree with me, but that's fine. The ones who are wise enough to see the truth in my words are the ones who will have long lasting and fun relationships.
It truly is just a game at the end of the day.
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What This Means for You
For my parting words I will say this. If you as a man treat dating less seriously and more like a game, you will have a lot more fun and success in your dating life.
Now you start to understand the rules of the game. Now you can actually play it properly. Now the playing field is a bit more even. Now you have a chance to win.
Too many men have neglected trying to learn how to be good at the dating game. Most of them don't even know the game exists.
But you can be different. You are the lucky one to somehow gain access to the forbidden knowledge that 99.99% of men are unaware of.
If you know someone who you feel needs this knowledge, please feel free to share my blog link with them. I would highly appreciate it.
Till next time, take care.
In Chinese:
未说出口的约会潜规则
距离我在这博客上发表第一篇文章，已经快一年了。不知道大家读得开不开心，我给出的建议是否对你们有所帮助。
就我个人而言，这段时间我取得了不错的进展。我确实有一些正在约会的女性，她们对我的吸引力都保持在健康的水平。
疯狂的是，我并不富有，在社交媒体上也没什么粉丝，更谈不上什么社会地位。我只是长得还算过得去，仅此而已。
传统上来说，人们会认为一个男人如果事业和金钱都没搞定，根本就不该去约会。
过去我很多朋友也告诉我，只要我变有钱，女人自然就来了。
他们没告诉我的是，我可以直接跳过"变有钱"这一步，直接去学习如何对女人有吸引力。
我也不能怪他们这么说。因为说实话，有钱确实有帮助，不只是对女人，对各方面都有帮助。而且他们本身也不知道女性吸引力的真正答案。
我意识到我永远无法走传统的人生道路。所以，我就在这里了。没钱，没地位，长相还行，但身边有女性在约会。有时我都不敢相信这真的在发生。
澄清一下，我不是在跟你们炫耀。我仍然会犯错，我还在男子气概之旅的起点。我还有很多东西要学。
只有当我能够同时维持5个女人的约会，且她们的美貌至少达到9/10分，并且我处于国王框架而非仆人框架时，我才会认为自己算得上约会大师。相信我，我现在离那个水平还远着呢。
那么，到目前为止，关于约会这场游戏，我学到了什么呢？
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游戏本身
什么是约会游戏？它怎么玩？约会真的是游戏吗？难道不是关于爱情吗？爱情不该是严肃的事吗？
对我来说，约会是一生中最有趣的游戏之一。但只有当你理解规则时，它才有趣。
有些人把约会看得很严肃。他们根本不觉得这是游戏。对他们来说，这是在寻找人生伴侣。所以对这些人来说，把约会当游戏是不尊重的。
即使你问大多数女人，她们通常也会给出非常正经或严肃的答案。她们常说她们约会是为了找丈夫，不是为了玩。
然而事实是，大多数女人不会让你那么轻易地约到她们。
作为男人，你完全知道我在说什么。你给女孩发信息，她很久都不回。你琢磨是不是自己发错了什么。有时她干脆不回，直接无视你。
你纠结着要不要发第二条信息。你心想，也许她没看到你的消息。你感觉自尊心在急剧下降，随着时间一小时一小时过去，她还没回复，你的焦虑感也在增加。
你发了第二条信息。没回应。也许一周后她回你，说她不小心漏掉了你的信息。也许你连这条信息都收不到。对话冷掉了，你再也听不到她的消息。
又或者，你约好某个时间地点和女孩见面。最后一刻她告诉你出了点事，要取消或推迟。
你感到失望。也许甚至感到不被尊重，但尽管有这种感觉，你还是同意改期，因为你太想见她了。
她只说回头告诉你。然后你就再也听不到她的消息了。
作为男人，你心里想，这他妈是怎么回事？为什么女人就不能信守承诺？为什么她不能像我们男人一样讲信用？为什么她说的和做的不一样？为什么她给我希望又把希望拿走？
你终于问出了那个黄金问题：这些"游戏"到底是怎么回事？
最悲哀的是，没人会告诉你真相。大多数人只会告诉你，这是个坏女人，你应该去找个好女孩。
真相是，这其实就是普遍的女性本性。她们就是这样。你得学会接受它。
如果你去问女人，她们也永远不会告诉你真相。从来没有女人向我解释过约会游戏。一次都没有。
公平地说，就算她们想解释，我也不确定她们能逻辑清晰地解释清楚。她们做这些事是出于潜意识的女性本能。
我可以向你保证，作为一个男人，你的大多数女性朋友都曾对男人玩过消失、已读不回、玩过心理游戏、临时放鸽子，而且她们永远不会向你承认。这一切的同时，她们在外表上显得善良、美好、得体。
那么，为什么会这样？
在揭示答案之前，我需要指出一点：对女人的行为心怀怨恨是毫无意义的。为什么要责怪一条鱼像鱼一样行事？
与其心怀怨恨，不如学习鱼是如何运作的，然后去适应它？这样你才能成为一个伟大的渔夫。
现在我们有了正确的、没有怨恨的心态，让我们继续。
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约会未说出口的潜规则
约会游戏的规则是什么？我将从男性的角度来阐述。
作为男人，这是规则一：
如果你立即表现出喜欢一个女人，游戏就结束了。
最近我看了一档Netflix的约会节目《单身地狱》第五季。里面有三个男人：Sunghun、Hyeonwoo和Hyeonjae。
这三个家伙从节目一开始就直接、公开地表达了对他们感兴趣的女人的喜欢。他们每人喜欢不同的女孩。
结果这三个女孩最后都和别的男人约会了。好吧，Sunghun最后确实得到了那个女孩，但那只是因为女孩不想独自离开节目。他只是她保住面子的备胎，节目结束后他们也没约会。
为什么这些男人没被选上？你看，女人需要让她们的情感参与进来。
如果你直接跑去告诉她你喜欢她，她就没什么可想的了。神秘感消失了。游戏还没开始就基本结束了。
游戏结束了，就没有兴奋感，也没有任何不确定性了。她的情感就没有空间为你滋长，她的心思也没有空间为你徘徊。
如果你不信，你可以试着去找一个你感兴趣的女人，直接告诉她你爱她，甚至向她表白。她可能会礼貌地对待你，但她的生物本能会告诉她远离你。
有一个前提。她需要先把你视为一个"选项"，你才有资格和她玩约会游戏。如果不是，你需要提高你的性市场价值，而且你很可能应该转向下一个女孩。
但我不是在文章前面说过，我不需要钱和地位就能吸引女孩吗？是也不是。
我想澄清一下，自从我开始写这个博客以来，我已经拿到了150多个WhatsApp号码。
仅凭数量本身，即使我的成功率只有几个百分点，150个女孩里也能有几个。
如果我有钱有地位，这个百分比可能会增加。
因为我努力去见很多女孩，最终总会有某个女孩足够喜欢我，愿意和我玩约会游戏，即使我没有钱也没有地位。我用努力和耐心代替了金钱和地位。
你现在的版本也有一个成功率。通过提高你的性市场价值，同时也提升你的约会技巧，你的成功率会随着时间增长。
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规则二：
你必须能够在不直接、不言语的情况下，传达出你对她的微妙兴趣。
这也叫调情。基本就像比手画脚。它体现在你的语气和说话方式中。
再说一次，如果你说得太直白，就没有神秘感了，一旦她过早地确定你的感觉，她就会失去兴趣，转向下一个男人。
女人对你的潜沟通非常敏感。两个男人可以说完全相同的话，但由于说话方式不同，对女人情绪状态的影响也会不同。
没有必要夸她漂亮，这太直接了，而且她可能听过无数遍了。
即使你想赞美她，也要选择她能自主控制的事情，比如她向你展示了好行为，或者她品味不错。
至于具体怎么和女人聊天，也许我以后会专门写一篇帖子来讲。
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规则三：
你对她表现出的兴趣程度，绝不能高于她对你实际感兴趣的程度。
为什么？如果你的兴趣程度高于她，你就会开始过度追求、过度赞美、过度肯定。
你做的这些越多，她就会越确定你对她的感觉，神秘感也就消失了。
一旦发生这种情况，她的兴趣程度就会下降，她的生物本能会告诉她转向下一个男人。
所以，为了稳妥起见，你需要学会调节自己的兴趣程度。永远不要让兴趣程度过高。我个人从不让自己对任何女孩的兴趣程度超过70%。
总而言之，这是一场谁更喜欢谁的博弈。如果在她对你产生情感依恋之前，她就确定你喜欢她，她就会转向下一个男人。
我想很多男人会跳出来说，这是只有不成熟的人才会玩的幼稚游戏。
我很抱歉地告诉你，如果你一直这么想，那只有非常非常小比例的女人会成为你的约会选项。
因为大多数女人一旦发现你不懂约会游戏怎么玩，就会自动把你淘汰。
另外，我想让你明白，这个游戏有一个非常重要的目的。女人玩约会游戏是为了测试和淘汰软弱的男人。
我的意思是，换位思考，如果你是女人，你会怎么测试一个你感兴趣的男人？总不能直接问这个男人强不强吧。说话不花钱。力量需要通过测试来展现，而不是说出来。
想想看。一个立即表露兴趣程度的男人说明了什么？这个男人根本不了解这个女孩，就已经愿意向她承诺了。
他屈服于对她美貌的欲望。这显示出缺乏自控力和内在力量。这是软弱。
但每一部迪士尼或好莱坞电影都会告诉你，对一个女孩坦诚自己的感受是一种力量的象征。在我看来，电影行业只是在制造更多软弱和无知的男人。
约会游戏的每一个部分，都是为了测试一个男人的内在力量。你需要意识到这一点，并学会接受它是女人生存的必要条件。如果你通不过这些测试，说实话，你配不上她。
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游戏永不结束
这是大多数男人最终会在不知不觉中遇到的最大陷阱。
即使你得到了那个女孩，甚至和她结了婚，说实话，约会游戏也永远不会结束。
男人们犯的错误是，结婚后就太安逸了。
他们以为现在一切都好了，他已经把女孩锁定了。
但随着时间的推移，他会在妻子摆在他面前的所有小测试或游戏中失败。
慢慢地，她开始感到不安全，对他失去吸引力。
最终，女人要么离开他，要么跟别的男人跑了。
规则仍然适用。你不能让她对你的感觉太过确定。
是的，你告诉过她你爱她，但偶尔需要在关系中注入一点"戏剧性"来制造不确定性。否则她会觉得无聊。
把它当成一盘国际象棋。你需要时不时地做些动作来增加情趣。
也许因为太忙，你一整天没接她电话或没回她信息。
也许你通常挂电话前会说"我爱你"，但你有意"忘了"说几次。
不管是什么，时不时地做点什么来增添情趣。发挥你的创造力。
这有毒、有操控性吗？这取决于你怎么看。
就像和你女人玩桌游。在桌游里，你可能需要虚张声势或说谎才能赢。
在游戏情境里，你们互相欺骗以赢得胜利。这一切都是为了好玩。
游戏之外，你们又回到平常的自己。
如果你把关系看得很严肃，这可能会很难接受。
但如果你把它看作一场有趣的游戏，你只是在扮演某个角色，那就没那么难了。
你需要学会将约会游戏从关系中分离出来。
因为女人的情绪每天甚至每小时都会波动，她们很难长时间保持快乐状态。
所以，如果事情变得平淡，她们自己就会开始往关系里注入戏剧性，以获得情感刺激。如果是由她来注入戏剧性，那你已经输了。
作为男人，你需要成为那个以不可预测的方式主动注入戏剧性的人，以保持约会游戏有趣、新鲜、持续。
我知道你在想什么。如果你注入戏剧性导致她跟你分手怎么办？首先，要么戏剧性来自你，要么就会来自她。至少如果来自你，你还有更多控制权。
其次，永远不要害怕失去女人。你越害怕失去她，她就越能感觉到你的软弱，就会更多地测试你，然后你可能真的会失去她。
第三，像所有事情一样，你需要练习。你会越来越擅长注入戏剧性，既能给她渴望的情感刺激，又不会让关系陷入地狱。
我知道你接下来在想什么，那就是在关系中真的需要这些心理游戏吗？作为男人，你只想要安宁。我完全理解。
所以如果你拒绝玩这些心理游戏，你就需要找到其他方式定期给她提供情感刺激。可以是玩电子游戏、桌游、做一些户外活动等等。
没有心理游戏够不够？我想这得看情况。只要你能把她的兴趣程度保持在85%以上，应该没问题。
关键是，作为男人，你永远不能在关系中太安逸。对你来说，事情平静意味着进展顺利。但在她看来，事情可能变得平淡无聊。这可能导致她向其他男人寻求情感刺激。不要放松警惕。
很多人会不同意我的观点，但没关系。那些足够智慧、能看清我话中真理的人，才会拥有长久而有趣的关系。
说到底，这真的只是一场游戏。
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这对你的意义
最后我想说，如果你作为男人，不那么严肃地对待约会，更像对待一场游戏，你的约会生活会有更多乐趣和成功。
现在你开始理解游戏的规则了。现在你可以真正地玩好它了。现在竞争环境稍微公平了一些。现在你有机会赢了。
太多男人忽视了学习如何擅长约会游戏。他们大多数甚至不知道游戏的存在。
但你可以不一样。你是那个幸运儿，不知怎么获得了99.99%的男人都不知道的禁忌知识。
如果你觉得有人需要这些知识，请随时与他们分享我的博客链接。我会非常感激。
下次见，保重。