To preface, I am writing this journal entry for 2 types of people. The first is the women who want to get a high value man. The second is for the men who want to get the hottest woman possible. To everyone else, you may ignore this article or just read it for entertainment. Let us begin.

So the other day I had an interesting chat with a female friend. Let's call her Yumi (not her real name). We were talking about relationship related stuff. This was roughly how it went:

Yumi: What would it take for you to consider being in a committed relationship with 1 woman?

Me: That means I would have to sacrifice all my current options with women as well as all future possible options. Is this girl THAT good?

Yumi: Yeah, what if she is willing to build a future with you and even sacrifice her life to save you if your life was in danger?

Me: I don't know. How about what she looks like physically, is she 10/10 in beauty?

Yumi: No la, let's say she is a 7/10.

Me: Just a 7? Impossible. I would like at least a 10/10 in terms of physical beauty before I would even consider the thought of committing.

Yumi: Wow, then you are going to be single for a long time.

To Yumi, me being single for a long time is a bad thing. But for me, I think it's actually a good thing. Why? Let us explore.

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Female Sexual Market Value

I want you to imagine a 35 year old single woman. Let's call her Layla and let's say she has a good career and is a 7 or 8/10 in terms of beauty depending on who you ask.

All Layla's friends tell her that she deserves a much better man than all her ex boyfriends. Specifically a guy who will treat her like the queen she deserves to be.

There are many women like Layla in our current society. Single women with high flying careers but can't seem to find a man. You probably know a woman exactly like Layla in your life.

So why do women like Layla have a hard time getting a man?

The first reason is age.

Layla is already 35 years old. Even if she maintains her beauty, she will be 40 years old in a few years time.

The high quality man she is looking for will probably choose a woman who is much younger, especially if he wants to start a family.

Maybe Layla can secure sex from such a man. But a long term relationship with a high quality man who wants children? It's not impossible, but the probability is just so low.

One thing I noticed is that women don't think that their age matters that much to men. This is false.

It's common for women to believe that they can still give birth at 40 years old or older.

Let's look at some numbers. These numbers are based on my own calculations so it may not be 100% accurate. You can do your own calculations and own research if you need more accuracy. But for the purposes of this discussion, these numbers should be good enough.

Statistically, only 3 out of 10 women at age 40 will be able to conceive a healthy baby without miscarriage or birth complications if they try for 12 menstrual cycles consecutively without missing a single one. It's basically a 30% success rate for every 12 months of effort.

This number drops a few percent each year, until it reaches 7% at age 45.

Compare that to a woman between 20-30 years old, it's about an 80% success rate if she tries to get pregnant every month over 12 menstrual cycles, barring any fertility issues.

Do you now understand why men are naturally attracted to younger women? Men's biology just instinctively know that younger women are more fertile and have more reproductive value, aside from generally being more beautiful.

Regardless of whether it is socially acceptable or not, the majority of men are going to find younger women between 18-30 years old to be more sexually attractive. To be clear, I'm not talking about personality compatibility, just raw sexual attraction.

This is because men's sexual attraction trigger is primarily physical. A man may not like a woman's personality. But if she's hot, he will still feel sexual attraction for her.

It doesn't matter if the man is 25 years old or even 65 years old, it's the same. Younger women are just more attractive by default. It's biology.

It's not creepy, it is just natural. So I don't know why people think it's weird for older men to be sexually attracted to or even date younger women. Perhaps it's just societal conditioning.

Maybe it's a way for some older women to try and guilt trip older men into dating them.

The second reason why most girls like Layla can't get a man: Their intense focus on their career.

I don't think most girls invest much time into their dating life because they put most of their time and effort into their career.

Why is that? 3 reasons.

Firstly, society encourages women to focus on their education and career, that's what they do since the feminine tends to follow the crowd. Why do you think there are more women getting degrees in university than men?

Secondly, women tend to feel that love will magically fall into their laps naturally. By God's will or fate. Like it should be effortless and should just occur naturally.

Thirdly, it's not uncommon for women to fear that if they fully rely on a man and have no career of their own, then if their relationship fails they would have no safety net for themselves.

So since they want the safety net and they feel like love will just happen naturally along the way, they decide that it's best to build a career first. Women are survival creatures that seek safety after all.

In a game of roulette, you either bet on black or red.

As a woman, either you bet on black (building a strong stable career first and hope to get a man later on along the way) or red (focus more on dating while young to get a good quality man while earning just enough career wise to survive).

Society will tell women to bet on black. This results in women possibly losing their opportunity to land a higher quality man due to being older when they start actively trying to settle down.

Every career woman I spoke to told me it's no rush for them to find a man, and that they have plenty of time. That's generally true if it's any man, but not true if they want the best possible man.

I had a female friend tell me she only started looking to settle down at 30 years old, and before that she only wanted to have fun.

So that means that the men who are players got to have hot steamy passionate sex with her when she was young and beautiful without needing to give any commitment, while the man she marries who has to take care of her for the rest of his life gets sex once or twice a month with an older and less beautiful version of her. Make that make sense.

Is it any wonder that some guys choose to be players? I'm not saying that it's morally correct. But it's reality. Many women reward bad boys and punish nice guys.

It doesn't help that all women are constantly telling each other that they are all perfect and that they deserve the best possible man that treats them like a queen. This causes most women to double down on betting on black.

Then one day these women who bet on black wake up and realize they are already 45 years old and men have stopped giving them the attention they once had when they were younger.

The worst thing about it is that even if she realizes it by then, there is nothing she can do to turn back the clock.

Some of these women end up living in regret or try to cope by saying it just wasn't fated or it was God's will for her to be single. The rest just peacefully accept their fate.

But what if a woman chose to bet on red instead? She would have had better chances with higher quality men while she still has her beauty and youth.

Even if she fails 1 or 2 relationships, she would still have time and would have more experience for her next relationship than women who bet on black. Her chances are not guaranteed, but much greater for sure.

Which is the better option for a woman, red or black?

I can't make that decision for any woman. But if it were my daughter, I would tell her to go for red. A woman's feminine energy is naturally relationship focused and seeks masculinity and internal strength from men.

I would advise my daughter to get the best possible man she can while she is young and give birth to a child. After doing all that, she will still have the rest of her life to focus on her career or she can decide to just be a mom.

A lot of the women who bet on black and did not get a husband or children end up just channeling their nurturing energy into pets or their nieces and nephews. Or they settled for a low quality man who they don't really respect because that's all she could get and it was better than being alone.

Here is another thing I always wonder. Why don't older women who never got married and never had children warn all the younger women about the risks of betting on black?

The more I thought about it, the more I understood why.

Women are using the wrong value system. In one of my previous posts titled 'Blue VS Pink Lens: Male VS Female Dating Strategies', I spoke about how men see things through the Blue lens and women see through the Pink lens.

Women think that in order to become more attractive to men, they need to become higher status, richer, wealthier, have degrees or PHDs and so on. Or at least that men would find these things attractive.

Why do they think like this? Because this is what THEY value in men. It's 100% using the Pink lens to guide their decision making.

That's why sometimes you see a very accomplished 40 year old woman thinking she is extremely high value to men, when in reality, the high value men she is interested in are just going for the younger, more beautiful women who may be less accomplished.

Are there very hot 40 year old women? Sure. But they are still less desirable in general than younger women who are just as hot or even hotter.

This is a woman's biggest mistake, failing to look at things through the male Blue lens, and believing falsely that they have all the time in the world.

I mean, if a woman wants to date another woman then sure, that Pink lens way of thinking would work. But because she wants to date a man, she actually has to appeal to what MEN value and look through the Blue lens.

To make things very clear and simple to all the women reading this, the Blue lens is all about physical beauty, youthfulness and purity/innocence.

As a woman you may ask me whether or not your status, education level and money matters to a man. The short answer is no. If you as a woman are fat, out of shape, have bad skin and let yourself go physically, then it doesn't matter even if you have everything else.

Looks come first and foremost. If you don't pass the physical test, everything else does not even come into play. If you want to improve your chances of getting the best possible man and if you don't have your physical beauty maximised, then that should take priority even above your career in my personal opinion.

A woman could be working at McDonald's and be financially broke, but because she is young and a 10/10 in beauty, men would be lining up from 10 blocks away to wife her up.

Inversely, a woman could be a 10/10 in finance, personality, career and status but a 3/10 in beauty and almost no guy will want to wife her up. The few guys who do want her will be men of low value which she will not be interested in.

This is why the number 1 skill a woman needs to learn is how to diet and maintain her physical attractiveness and figure. So go get a gym membership asap and learn how to eat good quality nutritious foods.

Women who truly understand the Blue lens have the most options with high value men. Simple as that.

The next question a woman may ask me is does that mean her education and career doesn't really help her get a high value man?

Maybe your career just helps you network with higher net worth men, but if you work so hard until you overeat due to stress, get fat and lose your beauty, those high value men won't even look your way.

I can hear some people going 'oh my god, men are so superficial'. To that my response would be, 'and women are not?'. Both genders are superficial in their own ways. It's very normal. Best to use this information to your advantage instead of judging or complaining.

In short, I think if a woman chooses to sacrifice her youth and beauty in exchange for her career, it is not a good trade off because it significantly decreases her SMV over time.

For the minority of women who don't care about getting a man at all, then you can safely ignore everything I say in this journal entry and live according to your own wants and desires.

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Male Sexual Market Value

Let's come back to my female friend Yumi that I spoke about at the very beginning. She told me that a 7/10 or max 8/10 girl who is willing to sacrifice her life for me and is willing to build a future with me should be more than enough for me, otherwise I would be single for a long time.

Then we have Layla who is 35 years old and getting older with every passing day. Everyone in society tells her that she should expect an even better man than all the previous men she dated.

Here is the problem though. Layla's SMV will decrease with each passing year. As she approaches 40, her SMV basically falls off a cliff.

On the other hand, my SMV can increase as I get closer to 40 years old if I put in the work. Heck, even at 50 years old, if I maintained my physical appearance, became wealthier and even better at dating, I could be even more in demand in the dating market.

So why does Layla whose SMV is decreasing rapidly over over the next 5 years deserve a better man, but myself who has the potential to increase my SMV over the next 15 years have to settle for a 7/10 girl right now? It makes absolutely zero logical sense to me.

It is true that with my current self I don't deserve a 10/10 woman yet objectively speaking, but that could change with time.

The truth is that as a woman gets older and less beautiful, her SMV decreases, so her choices of men also naturally reduces.

She can have the highest standards in the world for the type of guy she wants, but without a high enough SMV, it does not matter. Because those guys won't be interested in her.

By right, a woman's standards need to be adjusted down as her SMV decreases.

But what I see happen instead is that women tend to increase their standards as they age.

It's like how when you hop from one job to another, you expect an increase in salary. Women also expect to be able to upgrade to higher quality men as they age.

This is objectively unrealistic once a woman hits 35 years old due to their declining SMV. I think I'm being generous here, because some men would probably say that 30 years old is where the decline in SMV for women starts.

Many women will disagree with me. They will say 'who does this guy think he is to tell me to lower my standards as I age? Doesn't he know how accomplished I am? It's completely normal for me to expect my future husband to be at least equally or more accomplished than me.'

Truthfully, I as an individual cannot control the sexual marketplace. I am just stating how male attraction works in the sexual marketplace. You can disagree with me as much as you want but it won't change reality.

You cannot force male attraction with words. You cannot go up to a high value man and say 'look at my accomplishments, you must be attracted to it instead of my physical looks', and he magically becomes attracted to you. It doesn't work that way.

What the Pink lens considers to be high value is not the same as what the Blue lens considers to be high value. If you switch to the Blue lens, you will understand why you are at a huge disadvantage despite all your accomplishments as a woman.

Unfortunately, Layla cannot do very much to increase her sexual market value. Maybe she can maintain her beauty or improve it a little, but father time cannot be defeated. Before long she will hit 40.

By then, she will be priced out of the dating market. Meaning, she wants to date a better quality man, but she is not young enough to have the beauty and reproductive value that such a better quality man is looking for. Maybe she can get a man, but a good high quality man? Much less likely.

Can she get lucky? Yeah. Would I put my money on it? Honestly, no. If I were Layla, I would spend at least 50% of my time on dating. As a woman, spending this much time on dating is not desperate. Because the feminine is supposed to be relationship focused.

As for me, Yumi was right about one thing, which is that I would probably stay single for a long time.

To her it's a bad thing, but in my view it's a great thing. Because the women I can get when I'm 40 years old will be better than the women I can get today. Assuming that I put in the work to make myself more attractive to women of course.

To clarify, by better I mean hotter. Blue lens, remember?

Now, some women will probably say that it is super unfair that men get to be more attractive even when they are older if they put in the work (which further proves my point that men and women are not equal).

Yes, life is unfair. Life is not equal. But let me say this. Women are born with a lot of value upfront. A woman gets the most male attention between the ages 18-30. It's like the moment she turns 18, she gets a Ferrari or a Lamborghini level car when entering the dating field.

Men on the other hand tend to take longer to build their value. In their younger years they get little to no female attention. Over time however, as they get older and work on themselves, they start getting more and more female attention.

It's like they get a BMW level car to enter the dating field when they reach 35 - 50 years old. They took longer to get there, but it lasts longer too.

It makes sense because women have a shorter fertility period. So she gets her Ferrari early on and then falls off quickly after a certain age. She should maximize her young age to get the best guy possible.

In today's modern world however, when women are young and at their highest SMV, they focus on career and just date casually or have fun and party.

Then when they are above 30 with their SMV steadily declining, they wonder why they struggle to find and lock down a high quality man.

This is why there are more and more single older women these days more than ever. Their strategy is completely backwards.

Men on the other hand start off slow in general and can become more attractive with age slowly over time.

So the optimal strategy for a man should be to delay any major life commitments to any girl so he can be sure he gets the hottest and youngest one (above 18 of course) that he can get.

But what do most guys do? They get married around 30 when their SMV is still just beginning to increase. Then in their older years of 35-50 they become tempted to cheat since now they get more female attention and their wife has gotten fat and is no longer beautiful.

Quite a number of men and women do everything backwards when it comes to their dating strategy. It makes absolutely zero logical sense to me.

Now, a lot of my male readers will probably say to me 'but I want to still be young when my kids grow up. If I only got married at 50, by the time my kids grow up I would be 70'.

That's a fair statement. You can get married early, just know that it may not be the hottest girl you could ever get. If you can make peace with that, then by all means go ahead and start a family early on.

For me though, I plan to look 30 when I'm 50. That's why I take my health quite seriously. This is so that I can prolong the amount of time that I'm at my peak SMV. I don't mind being a bit older when I have kids. I would probably be a better father too at that age than if I were to be a father right now.

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False Societal Narratives

After writing this many journal entries, I start to see a pattern. Societal narratives are largely false when it comes to relationship advice with very few exceptions.

One such narrative is that society tells all women to get a degree and focus on their career during their younger years. So women end up sacrificing their limited and valuable peak SMV years of between 18-30 years old in exchange for a good career and a safety net.

For men, society tells men to just get money, and the women will come. But society fails to tell them that money alone is not enough to retain women's attraction.

So men being logical creatures just think that money = lots of women or money = his wife will love him eternally as long as he provides for her, which is just not true.

These and many other false societal narratives are the reason that I have to be the one to step up and dismantle all of them surgically and logically.

To all the men reading this, build your SMV now so your dating life gets easier later. Also, you still need to be dating regularly while increasing your SMV. Why? Dating experience is separate from SMV. SMV just gets your foot in the door.

For women, date actively now so you maximize the return on your current SMV before it declines and you get priced out of the market. If you have not maximised your physical beauty, you may want to spend some time doing that first.

I don't believe in waiting for things to happen. I believe that you need to reach out with your own 2 hands and grab the opportunities.

And if those opportunities don't exist, it's your job to find a way to create them, regardless if you are a man or a woman.

Some things may indeed be up to fate or God's will, but we also have to put ourselves in the best position to succeed in dating. Only after we have done so, can we leave the rest up to fate.

This post ends here. The rest is just some final afterthoughts which are optional to read. If you got this far, thank you for reading and I'll see you in the next journal entry.

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Afterthoughts About Myself

For me, I understand why Yumi said I only deserve a 7/10 woman at this point in time.

Women usually judge your value as a man based on your current value, not your potential future value. Most women want a ready made man, after all.

I strongly believe that all the women I dated in my past never considered or understood my future potential and what I could become. 

To be fair to them, even I am not able to fully grasp my future potential.

So at this stage I'm truly just a guy that is just for having fun with. Not someone any woman should consider dating seriously.

If I was a girl, even I would not place a bet on myself. I'm too much of a wild card. Plus I no longer put any pressure on myself. I just walk the path I am supposed to walk regardless of outcome. I let myself flow naturally, just like a river flows from upstream to downstream.

Which means yes, maybe if I were to focus on being a real estate agent, I would make an above average amount of money. But I thought about it. What is the value I would bring to this world as an agent? If I worked hard, maybe every year I would help 10-20 or so people find a home.

So maybe over the course of 20 years, I would help up to 400 people find a home or invest in one.

Is that it? Is that all my life would amount to? To me, I would feel like that's such a colourless, meaningless, uneventful and boring life. So many other people can do this role.

The brain that God gifted me is capable of contributing so much more value to this world. Something that is unique to me and no one else can do.

I would rather just pursue the path that I am supposed to pursue whether it brings me riches or not. I feel much more fulfilled this way.

Do I feel lonely? Strangely no. It just goes to show, if a man finds his purpose, everything else becomes secondary. By letting go of all that I never needed, all that I ever needed found me.

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In Chinese:

男性与女性的性市场价值 (SMV)

写在前面：我写这篇日记，主要是写给两种人看的。第一种是想找到高价值男人的女人。第二种是想找到最火辣女人的男人。至于其他人，你可以忽略这篇文章，或者就当看个乐子。我们开始吧。

前几天，我和一位女性朋友聊了一次很有意思的天。就叫她小雅吧（化名）。我们聊了些感情相关的话题。对话大致是这样的：

小雅：要怎样才能让你考虑和某一个女人建立一段认真的、专一的关系？

我：那就意味着我要放弃我现在所有的女性选择，以及未来所有可能的选择。这女孩有那么好吗？

小雅：是啊，如果她愿意和你共建未来，甚至在你生命危险时牺牲自己来救你呢？

我：我不知道。那她的外表呢？是满分十分的大美女吗？

小雅：不是啦，假设她是七分吧。

我：才七分？不可能。至少得是十分的外表美女，我才会开始考虑要不要专一。

小雅：哇，那你要单身很久了。

对小雅来说，我要单身很久是件坏事。但对我来说，我觉得这其实是好事。为什么？我们来探讨一下。

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女性的性市场价值

我想让你想象一个35岁的单身女性。我们叫她莉娜吧，假设她事业不错，按照不同人的标准，外貌大概是七到八分。

莉娜所有的朋友都告诉她，她值得比所有前男友都更好的男人。具体来说，是一个会把她当成女王一样对待的男人。

在我们现在的社会里，有很多像莉娜这样的女性。单身，事业有成，但似乎就是找不到男人。你生活中很可能就认识一个和莉娜一模一样的女性。

那么，为什么像莉娜这样的女人很难找到男人呢？

第一个原因是年龄。

莉娜已经35岁了。即使她努力维持美貌，再过几年她就40岁了。

她想要的那种高质量男人，很可能会选择年轻得多的女人，尤其是如果他想要组建家庭的话。

也许莉娜能和这样的男人发生关系。但是，要建立一段想要孩子的高质量男人的长期关系？不是不可能，但概率实在太低了。

我注意到一件事，就是女性往往不认为自己的年龄对男人来说有那么重要。这是错的。

很多女性相信自己在40岁或更老的时候仍然可以生育。

我们来看一些数字。这些数字是我自己估算的，可能不是100%准确。如果你需要更精确，可以自己计算和研究。但为了这次讨论，这些数字应该足够说明问题。

据统计，如果一个40岁的女性连续12个月经周期（一个周期都不错过）尝试怀孕，那么只有十分之三的人能够怀上一个健康的宝宝，并且不经历流产或生育并发症。基本上就是每努力12个月，成功率是30%。

这个数字每年下降几个百分点，到45岁时会降到7%。

相比之下，一个20到30岁的女性，如果没有生育问题，连续12个月尝试怀孕，成功率大约是80%。

你现在明白为什么男人天生就被年轻女性吸引了吗？男性的生物本能就是知道年轻女性生育能力更强、生育价值更高，而且通常也更漂亮。

不管社会是否认可，大多数男人都会发现18到30岁之间的年轻女性更有性吸引力。说清楚，我谈的不是性格合拍，而是纯粹的性吸引力。

这是因为男性的性吸引力触发主要是外在的。一个男人可能不喜欢一个女人的性格，但如果她身材火辣，他仍然会对她有性冲动。

不管这个男人是25岁还是65岁，都一样。年轻女性天生就更有吸引力。这是生物学规律。

这不叫变态，这很自然。所以我不明白为什么人们觉得年长男性被年轻女性吸引，甚至和她们约会，是件奇怪的事。也许这只是社会规训的结果。

或许这是一些年长女性试图用愧疚感绑架年长男性，让他们选择和自己约会的方式。

像莉娜这样的女孩找不到男人的第二个原因：她们对事业的过度专注。

我认为大多数女孩没有在感情生活上投入太多时间，因为她们把大部分时间和精力都放在了事业上。

为什么会这样？三个原因。

第一，社会鼓励女性专注于教育和事业，所以她们从小就随大流这么做。不然为什么现在大学里拿学位的女性比男性多？

第二，女性往往觉得爱情会自然而然地降临，像天意或缘分。仿佛爱情应该是毫不费力、自然发生的。

第三，女性常常担心，如果完全依赖男人，自己没有事业，一旦感情失败，她们将毫无保障。

所以，既然她们想要保障，又觉得爱情会在人生路上自然到来，她们就决定最好先立业。毕竟女性是追求安全感的生物。

在轮盘赌游戏中，你要么押红色，要么押黑色。

作为女性，你要么押黑色（先建立稳定的事业，希望以后在路上遇到好男人），要么押红色（趁年轻更专注于约会，在事业上赚够温饱钱的同时，找到一个高质量男人）。

社会会告诉女性押黑色。这导致女性可能会因为开始积极考虑安定下来时年龄已大，而错过锁定更高质量男人的机会。

我交谈过的每一个事业型女性都告诉我，她们不急着找男人，时间还多得很。如果只是想找“任何男人”，这话基本没错；但如果她们想要“最好的男人”，这话就不对了。

我有一个女性朋友告诉我，她30岁才开始考虑安定下来，在那之前她只想玩。

这意味着，那些玩家型的男人在她年轻漂亮时，可以和她拥有激情四射的性爱，而无需任何承诺；而那个要照顾她后半生的丈夫，只能和一个更年老、美貌减退的她每月一两次。这说得通吗？

难怪有些男人选择当玩家。我不是说这在道德上正确。但这是现实。很多女人奖励坏男人，惩罚好男人。

雪上加霜的是，所有女性都在不停地互相告诉对方：你们都很完美，值得拥有能像对待女王一样对待你的最好男人。这让大多数女性更加坚定地押注黑色。

然后有一天，这些押注黑色的女性一觉醒来，发现自己已经45岁了，男人不再像她们年轻时那样给予她们关注。

最糟糕的是，即使到那时她意识到了，她也无法让时光倒流。

她们中的一些人最终生活在悔恨中，或者试图用“只是缘分未到”或“是上帝让我单身”来安慰自己。剩下的就平静地接受命运。

但如果一个女人选择押红色呢？在她仍然拥有美貌和青春时，她会有更好的机会接触到更高质量的男人。

即使她经历一两次失败的恋情，她仍有时间，并且比那些押注黑色的女性拥有更多的经验。她的机会虽然不保证成功，但肯定要大得多。

对女性来说，红色和黑色，哪个是更好的选择？

我不能为任何女人做决定。但如果是我的女儿，我会告诉她选红色。女性的阴性能量天生就关注关系，并寻求从男性那里获得阳刚之气和内在力量。

我会建议我的女儿趁年轻找到她能找到的最好的男人，并生一个孩子。在完成这些之后，她仍有大半辈子可以专注于事业，或者决定就做一位母亲。

很多押注黑色、既没有得到丈夫也没有孩子的女性，最终只是将她们的养育能量转移到宠物或侄女侄子身上。或者她们将就了一个自己并不真正尊重的低质量男人，因为那是她们能得到的最好选择，总比孤独终老强。

还有一件事我总是想不通。为什么那些从未结婚、从未生育的年长女性，不去警告所有年轻女性押注黑色的风险？

我越想越明白为什么。

女性在用错误的价值体系衡量。在我之前一篇名为《蓝镜 vs 粉镜：男性与女性的约会策略》的文章中，我谈到了男人通过蓝镜看事物，女人通过粉镜看事物。

女性认为，为了对男人更有吸引力，她们需要变得地位更高、更富有、更有钱、有学位或博士学位等等。或者至少男人会觉得这些东西有吸引力。

她们为什么这么想？因为这是她们自己看重男人的地方。这是100%在用粉镜指导她们的决策。

这就是为什么有时候你会看到一个40岁、成就斐然的女性，认为自己对于男人来说价值极高，而现实是，她感兴趣的那些高价值男人，只会去找更年轻、更漂亮、可能成就不如她的女性。

有没有40岁还很火辣的女人？当然有。但总体而言，她们仍然不如同样火辣甚至更火辣的年轻女性受欢迎。

这是女性最大的错误：未能通过男性的蓝镜看事物，并错误地相信自己拥有全世界的时间。

我的意思是，如果一个女人想和另一个女人约会，那么粉镜的思维方式当然行得通。但因为她想和一个男人约会，她就必须迎合男人看重的东西，并透过蓝镜去看。

为了让所有阅读此文的女性都清楚明白，蓝镜的核心就是：外在美貌、年轻活力、以及纯净/天真。

作为女性，你可能会问我：你的地位、教育水平和金钱对一个男人来说重要吗？简短的回答是：不重要。如果你作为一个女人，身材肥胖、走形、皮肤不好、疏于打理外表，那么即使你拥有其他一切，也无济于事。

外表是第一位的。如果你没通过外貌测试，其他一切甚至都不在考虑范围之内。如果你想提高得到最好男人的机会，而你的外在美貌还没有最大化，那么在我看来，这应该优先于你的事业。

一个女人可能在麦当劳工作，身无分文，但因为她年轻且外貌十分，男人们会排着长队从十条街外赶来想娶她。

相反，一个女人可能在财务、性格、事业和地位上都是十分，但外貌只有三分，那么几乎没有男人会想娶她。少数想要她的男人，会是那些低价值的、她根本看不上的男人。

这就是为什么女人需要学习的头号技能是如何饮食和保持外在吸引力和身材。所以，尽快去办个健身卡，学习如何吃优质营养的食物。

真正理解蓝镜的女性，在高价值男人那里拥有最多的选择。就这么简单。

下一个女人可能会问我的问题是：这是否意味着她的教育和事业对她找到一个高价值男人并没有真正帮助？

也许你的事业只是帮你结识了更高净值的男人，但如果你工作太拼命，以至于压力过大暴饮暴食，身材走样、失去美貌，那些高价值男人根本不会看你一眼。

我能听到有些人说“天啊，男人真肤浅”。对此我的回应是：“女人就不肤浅吗？”两性各有各的肤浅方式。这很正常。最好利用这个信息为你自己谋利，而不是评判或抱怨。

简而言之，我认为如果一个女人选择用她的青春和美貌去交换事业，这不是一笔好交易，因为这会随着时间显著降低她的SMV。

对于那些根本不在乎找到男人的少数女性，你可以安全地忽略我在这篇日记里说的一切，按照你自己的意愿生活。

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男性的性市场价值

让我们回到一开始提到的我的女性朋友小雅。她告诉我，一个七分顶多八分、愿意为我牺牲生命并愿意与我共建未来的女孩，对我来说应该绰绰有余了，否则我会单身很久。

然后我们还有莉娜，她35岁了，并且每一天都在变老。社会上每个人都告诉她，她应该期待一个比她所有前任都更好的男人。

但问题是这样的。莉娜的SMV会随着每一年过去而降低。当她接近40岁时，她的SMV基本上会断崖式下跌。

另一方面，如果我努力，我的SMV可以随着我接近40岁而增加。见鬼，即使到了50岁，如果我保持了外貌，变得更富有，甚至更懂约会，我在婚恋市场上可能会更抢手。

那么，为什么SMV在未来5年会迅速下降的莉娜，值得一个更好的男人；而我的SMV在未来15年有潜力增长，却必须现在就满足于一个七分的女孩？这对我来说完全不合逻辑。

客观地说，以我现在的条件，我确实配不上一个十分的女人，但随着时间的推移，这可能改变。

事实是，随着女人年龄增长、美貌减退，她的SMV下降，所以她能选择的男性范围自然也缩小了。

她可以对想找的男人类型设定世界上最高的标准，但如果SMV不够高，那就没用。因为那些男人不会对她感兴趣。

按理说，一个女人的标准应该随着她SMV的下降而下调。

但我看到的情况恰恰相反：女性往往随着年龄增长而提高标准。

这就像你换工作时，会期望薪水更高。女性也期望随着年龄增长，能升级到质量更高的男人。

一旦女性过了35岁，这在客观上是不现实的，因为她们的SMV在下降。我觉得我已经很客气了，因为有些男人可能会说，女性SMV的下降从30岁就开始了。

很多女性会不同意我的说法。她们会说：“这家伙以为自己是谁，敢告诉我年龄大了就该降低标准？他不知道我有多成功吗？我期望未来的丈夫至少和我一样成功或更成功，这完全正常。”

说实话，我一个人无法控制性市场。我只是在陈述男性吸引力在性市场中如何运作。你可以随心所欲地不同意我，但这改变不了现实。

你不能用言语强迫男性产生吸引力。你不能走到一个高价值男人面前说“看看我的成就，你必须被这个吸引，而不是我的外表”，然后他就神奇地被你吸引了。事情不是这样运作的。

粉镜认为高价值的东西，和蓝镜认为高价值的东西是不一样的。如果你切换到蓝镜，你就会明白为什么尽管你作为女人取得了所有成就，却仍处于巨大的劣势。

不幸的是，莉娜无法做太多事情来提高她的性市场价值。也许她可以保持或稍微改善她的美貌，但时间是无法战胜的。很快她就会到40岁。

到那时，她会被婚恋市场“淘汰出局”。意思是，她想约会更高质量的男人，但她不够年轻，不具备那种更高质量男人所追求的美貌和生育价值。也许她能找到一个男人，但一个好男人、高质量的男人？可能性小得多。

她有可能走运吗？是的。我会把钱押在这上面吗？老实说，不会。如果我是莉娜，我会把至少50%的时间花在约会上。作为一个女人，花这么多时间在约会上并不是“饥渴”。因为女性天生就应该关注关系。

至于我，小雅说对了一件事，那就是我可能会单身很久。

对她来说是坏事，但在我看来是好事。因为我在40岁时能得到的女人，会比我现在能得到的更好。当然，前提是我努力让自己对女人更有吸引力。

澄清一下，我说的“更好”是指更火辣。记得蓝镜吗？

现在，一些女性可能会说，如果男人努力（这进一步证明了我的观点，即男女不平等），他们年纪大了反而会更有吸引力，这太不公平了。

是的，生活是不公平的。生活不是平等的。但让我这么说：女性天生就拥有很高的初始价值。一个女性在18到30岁之间会得到最多的男性关注。就像她一到18岁，进入婚恋领域就得到了一辆法拉利或兰博基尼。

而另一方面，男性往往需要更长时间来建立他们的价值。在年轻的时候，他们很少或根本没有女性关注。然而，随着时间的推移，随着年龄增长和自我提升，他们开始获得越来越多的女性关注。

就像他们在35到50岁时，得到一辆宝马车进入婚恋领域。他们花更长时间才达到这一步，但持续的时间也更长。

这是有道理的，因为女性的生育期更短。所以她很早就得到了她的法拉利，然后在某个年龄之后迅速贬值。她应该趁年轻最大化利用，找到尽可能好的男人。

然而，在当今现代世界，当女性年轻且处于SMV最高点时，她们专注于事业，只是随意约会或玩乐、聚会。

然后当她们过了30岁，SMV稳步下降时，她们想知道为什么自己很难找到并锁定一个高质量的男人。

这就是为什么如今单身年长女性比以往任何时候都多。她们的策略完全是本末倒置。

另一方面，男性起步通常较慢，随着年龄增长，可以慢慢变得更有吸引力。

所以，对男人来说，最优策略应该是推迟对任何女孩的重大人生承诺，以确保他能得到他能得到的最火辣、最年轻的女孩（当然要成年）。

但大多数男人是怎么做的呢？他们在30岁左右结婚，那时他们的SMV才刚刚开始增加。然后在35到50岁的年纪，他们开始受到诱惑想要出轨，因为现在他们得到了更多女性关注，而他们的妻子已经发福，不再美丽。

相当多的男人和女人在约会策略上完全是反着来的。这对我来说完全不合逻辑。

现在，我的很多男性读者可能会对我说：“但我想在我的孩子长大时，我还能保持相对年轻。如果我50岁才结婚，等我的孩子长大，我就70岁了。”

这是个合理的说法。你可以早点结婚，只是要知道那可能不是你所能得到的最火辣的女孩。如果你能坦然接受这一点，那么尽管早点组建家庭吧。

但对我来说，我计划在50岁时看起来像30岁。这就是为什么我非常重视我的健康。这样我可以延长我处于SMV巅峰的时间。我不介意要孩子时年龄稍大一些。在那个年纪，我可能会比现在成为一个更好的父亲。

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虚假的社会叙事

在写了这么多篇日记之后，我开始看到一个模式。在关系建议方面，社会叙事大多是错误的，只有极少数例外。

其中一个叙事是，社会告诉所有女性，在年轻时去拿学位并专注于事业。所以女性最终牺牲了她们有限且宝贵的SMV巅峰期（18-30岁），去换取一份好事业和一个安全网。

对于男性，社会告诉男人只要有钱，女人自然就会来。但社会没有告诉他们，光有钱并不足以维持女人的吸引力。

所以，作为逻辑生物，男人只是认为 金钱 = 很多女人 或者 金钱 = 只要他供养妻子，妻子就会永远爱他，但这根本不是真的。

这些以及许多其他虚假的社会叙事，正是为什么必须由我来站出来，用逻辑精准地拆解它们。

致所有阅读此文的男性：现在就建立你的SMV，这样你以后的感情生活会更容易。同时，在提高SMV的过程中，你仍然需要定期约会。为什么？约会经验是独立于SMV的。SMV只是帮你获得入场券。

对于女性，现在就积极约会，在你的SMV下降、被市场淘汰之前，最大化你当前SMV的回报。如果你还没有最大化你的外在美貌，你可能需要先花点时间做这件事。

我不相信等待事情发生。我相信你需要伸出自己的双手去抓住机会。

如果那些机会不存在，你的任务就是想办法创造它们，无论你是男人还是女人。

有些事情可能确实是缘分或天意，但我们也要让自己处于约会中最佳的成功位置。只有在我们做到这一点之后，才能把剩下的交给命运。

这篇文章到此结束。剩下的只是一些最后的补充想法，可以选择性阅读。如果你读到了这里，感谢你的阅读，我们下一篇日记再见。

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关于我自己的补充想法

对我来说，我明白为什么小雅说在现阶段我只配得上七分的女人。

女性通常根据你当前的价值来判断你作为男人的价值，而不是你未来的潜力。毕竟，大多数女人想要的是一个现成的成品男人。

我坚信，所有我过去约会过的女性，从未考虑或理解过我未来的潜力以及我能成为什么样的人。

公平地说，连我自己也无法完全把握我未来的潜力。

所以现阶段，我真的只是一个适合玩乐的男人。不是一个任何女人应该认真考虑交往的对象。

如果我是个女孩，我甚至都不会把赌注押在自己身上。我太不稳定了。而且我不再给自己任何压力。我只是走我该走的路，不计较结果。我让自己自然流淌，就像河流从上游流到下游一样。

这意味着，是的，如果我专注于做房地产经纪人，我可能会赚到高于平均水平的钱。但我仔细想了想。作为一名经纪人，我能给这个世界带来什么价值？如果我努力工作，也许每年能帮10到20个人找到家。

所以也许在20年的时间里，我最多能帮400个人找到家或投资房产。

就这样吗？我的人生就只是这样吗？对我来说，我会觉得那是一种如此苍白、无意义、平淡无奇且无聊的生活。太多其他人都能扮演这个角色。

上帝赐予我的大脑，有能力为这个世界贡献更多的价值。一些独一无二、只有我能做的事。

我宁愿只追求我应该追求的道路，无论它是否能给我带来财富。这样让我感觉充实得多。

我感到孤独吗？奇怪的是，并不。这恰恰说明，如果一个男人找到了他的目标，其他一切都变成了次要。通过放下我从来不需要的一切，我需要的一切自然就找到了我。