*Disclaimer*: Danny here. In this journal entry of mine, I explore what makes a man desirable to women. Whether you agree or disagree with my take, I hope it encourages critical thinking with regards to the way we look at female attraction and provides a logical framework that could benefit people. Enjoy*A Woman's Kryptonite: The Renaissance Man*
You know, a question often pops up in my head. If a woman could custom build for herself a man that perfectly fits all of her criteria, what would this man be like?
What are the desirable qualities a woman would put in this man? How would he look? How would he act and behave?
It got me thinking, if I could figure out the end product, I could reverse engineer it to more deeply understand what is attractive and desirable to women.
So let's do a little mental analysis. To be clear, we are creating a man that will appeal to the majority of women, so I will put more weightage on attributes that majority of women find attractive rather than any personal preferences. Basically if it's attractive to at least 51% of women, then I will take it.
How would he look? We all know women prefer taller men. So let's say he is about 6 feet or around 180cm+. He would have broad shoulders and a small waist, giving that V taper figure. He would have above average muscle mass, but not to the level of a professional body builder. He will have good chest muscles and visible abs. Let's say around 10-12% body fat.
Face wise, I heard some girls prefer clean shaven guys, but honestly bearded guys who groom themselves well are more masculine in appearance, so let's go with a well groomed beard. Add an angular face with a strong jawline, clear skin. Definitely not bald, must have nice hair.
Good style with well fitting clothes. So let's say this standard we created is a 10/10 score in the looks department. I think we basically just created a bearded version of Henry Cavill aka the actor who played the previous superman. On to the next attribute, money.
In terms of money, I think you don't have to be Elon Musk billionaire level. Let's set 100 million as the 10/10 score in the money department. This figure includes all owned assets such as investments, owned businesses, luxury items, cars, houses, liquid cash etc. In my opinion if you have a nett worth of 100million it is way more than enough to live lavishly.
Let's talk fame and status. We also know that both fame and status gives a huge boost to a man's sexual market value (SMV). It could be being born into royalty, being social media famous, being a famous actor or performer, being one of the top experts in any field etc.
It could even be as simple as a guy being well known in a social circle. What fame and status does is that it tells a woman subconsciously that this man is a safe pick since he is regarded in high esteem by many. So he is less likely to be some stranger that could kill you in some dark alleyway.
Let's also say this guy is social media famous with about 5-10million combined followers across Instagram, YouTube, Tik Tok etc. So this guy is extremely influential. Through social media fame he managed to generate ad revenue, sell merchandise and reinvest into buying or creating businesses and diversifying his investment portfolio until he reached 100 million net worth over time. So this is the standard for a 10/10 score in fame and status.
For his age, let's say he is somewhere between 35 to 50 years old. I think that age is not such a big factor as long as it's within this range and he keeps himself in good shape. Google Chuando Tan, I think he is like 50+ years old but he looks 30 years old and he is extremely fit with a good face and body.
Another thing we need to look at is preselection. How many options does this man have with women? A woman must see that this man is also wanted by other women. So let's say that due to his social media fame, this man has unlimited options with women. This is the standard for 10/10 in preselection score.
Now, we are basically done with the external markers of high value. We need to talk about the internal too. As I mentioned in my post titled '5 Girlfriends', external high value only attracts the girl to a man. It's basically just for lead generation. You need internal high value to keep her attracted to you for the long term.
The other day, I was hanging out with a group of friends at their house. The girls in the group started talking about the standards that they personally look for in men such as height, money, status, looks etc. Do you know what surprised me the most?
None of them spoke about internal high value traits such as masculinity, internal strength or confidence. Yet it's these things that are found within the man that keeps a woman attracted for the long term. I know how women think. In their mind it's like 'If I can't find a guy who I can feel constant high attraction for, at least let him be rich'. Which explains all the sexless marriages.
A lot of men also mistakenly think that as long as they have money, the woman will remain attracted to them.
Let me ask you a brutally honest question. As a man, if you suddenly show a woman that you have 10million in your bank account through your phone, do you think she will she suddenly get horny and want o have sex with you? Because I think so many men think that's how female attraction works.
A man can see a beautiful woman and feel instant attraction towards her. This is because the man views a woman from the outside in.
A woman on the other hand needs time to assess what the man is like on the inside to feel deeper levels of attraction for him. She views the man from the inside out. It's the reverse. Her attraction grows over time and it's not instantaneous like a man's attraction mechanisms.
My female friends did mention one internal trait, which is that the man has to be loyal to them. Honestly, loyalty ranks low in attractiveness compared to other internal traits. Like I mean pure raw attractiveness. If a man has all other masculinity traits covered and has high external value, loyalty is optional for him.
So with that being said, for this internal high value section, I'm going to state what women actually positively respond to, not what women say they want.
Because if you listen to what women say, often times you will be lead astray. What women feel is true is not the same as objective truth when it comes to dating, because emotions are subjective and in the moment, not objective and universal. I am here to give you brutal, honest truths.
So for internal high value, we want a man with high levels of masculinity. This will attract the most feminine women as I mentioned in my post titled 'Sexual Polarity'.
What makes a masculine man? Some traits are high levels of self control and discipline, being regimented, having and focusing on purpose, having a personalised world view. Being unshakable, unreactive and indomitable like an immovable rock.
Being able to say no to things you don't want to do regardless of social expectations. Having high levels of internal strength and emotional resilience. Staying true to one's masculine core. Not being lustful. Being immune to female beauty. He can admire a woman's beauty and appreciate it, but he cannot go weak because of it.
Do you know how many high status men have gone weak to women's beauty, lost their logic and rationality and made horrible life ending decisions? Just imagine the wars fought and lost due to this. A woman's physical beauty and vagina cannot control you as a man. Hence, this man has full control over his sexual desire and is never lustful even for the most beautiful women in the world. He is unshakable.
Finally, he must completely understand female nature. He understands that all things with women are temporary and can end at any time. So he has no attachments to them. Women can come and go in his life and he will be fully unaffected.
Just think about it logically, how many of the men that women have slept with before are still currently in their lives? Few to none. All good things eventually come to an end. So this man we created will be able to fully function with or without the presence of women in his life. This level of masculinity is the benchmark for 10/10 score in this area.
A man who is a 10/10 in external high value traits (looks, money, fame, status, preselection) and also a 10/10 in internal high value (masculinity, confidence, understanding of female nature) is what I call The Renaissance Man.
He is excellent and competent in all areas of his life including women. Which means all the women he is involved with in his life have over 90% interest level and attraction towards him at all times.
Honestly, most women would kill to have a Renaissance Man as a boyfriend or husband. However, too few of them exist. Maybe 1 in 20 million men? So because of supply and demand, the few of them who do exist will by default end up sharing many women, unless he chooses to be loyal to 1 woman.
The conclusion I am about to say is controversial and is not a moral recommendation, it is a thought experiment. So if we put morality aside for a moment and only consider what's best for humanity, my opinion is that if such a man did exist, he should highly consider having kids with many different women.
We need his genes to be diversified and spread far and wide to increase the overall quality of the gene pool for future generations. He should select the best looking, hottest, most feminine, healthy and fertile women. Forget about being loyal to 1 woman. Instead, he should be loyal to all the women he has his children with. This is my cold honest take. Even if you disagree with me morally, my hope is you at least understand the point logically.
*Note: This concludes my post about The Renaissance Man. Every additional section below is just my own self journaling exercise, afterthoughts on the subject and my recent experiences. Feel free to stop reading.*
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So what about me? Where do I rank in all these areas? Let's start with external high value.
In terms of looks, if Henry Cavill is a 10/10 in looks, then I'm like a 6/10 on a good day. If I really maxed out my body, skin, style, teeth, I think the max score I can get is 8 or 8.5 because I lack height. But that is fine, plenty of girls shorter or around same height as me in Asia. And unfortunately, height is not something I can control, so no point dwelling over it.
In terms of money, if 100 million is a 10/10 score, then I'm a 1/10. That's fine for now. As I build up other areas in my life, I think my material wealth will soon follow.
In terms of fame and status, I'm also a 1/10. I have some ideas on how to improve my score in this area, but I haven't decided yet if I'm going ahead with them. Will play by ear.
How about my preselection score? Preselection is an interesting topic. Perhaps I will expand on it more in the future. So for that reason I will not reveal my preselection score for now.
Let's hop on over to my internal high value. Man, where do I start. I know that whatever I have inside of me has the potential to be an absolute 10/10. I think I am one of those guys that blooms a little later in life.
Right now though, I still have a lot of inner work to do in terms of building my masculinity and other internal character traits. I do think that I am extremely strong internally, I just haven't had enough life experiences to fully put my strength to the test.
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Speaking of test, the other day I had lunch with a girl, let's call her Katie (not her real name). I was talking about how Kpop Demon Hunters is such a great movie and that she should definitely watch it.
She paused and said 'I don't watch cartoons, it's childish'.
In that moment it hit me, this girl was testing me to see if I am going to change my mind. So naturally, I doubled down and went 'just trust me, it is even better than many non-animated movies'. If I had instead changed my mind to please her and agreed with her, then I would have failed her little test. I would have shown that I am weak and easily moved off my masculine core.
Which got me to realize, it seems like this girl does view me as a potential romantic option for her. After all, women don't test men they have zero interest in.
In the past I may not have realized these subtle tests. In fact, she herself probably didn't realize that she was testing me. Women do all these things subconsciously. That's why you cannot ask women how to get a woman. They themselves don't fully understand their own attraction mechanisms.
My jie once said to me 'Danny, I don't know how to explain it, attraction is just a feeling I get when I'm with the guy. It cannot be explained with words.'
Well, I can explain it logically. When a man passes a woman's subtle tests like these, her attraction grows.
The problem is 99.9% of men don't even know they are being tested or even what the tests look like. And they fail it. I was one of these guys too until I spent time researching female attraction mechanisms. In fact, sometimes women miss out on good men because they failed certain small tests she did. How sad is that?
Some guys pass the tests unknowingly. And because they don't know how or why they passed, they can't explain it or teach it to others either. Without deeper logical understanding, mastery can never be achieved.
Perhaps one day I can write about the various tests women do in more detail.
Some minor spoilers. I really enjoyed Kpop Demon Hunters because the main character is half demon and she faced so much issues with self acceptance.
I too struggle with accepting the demonic side of myself all the time and wanting to hide it.
You may think that my Mind's Eye ability to see universal truths so clearly is angelic and holy. But it probably has dark, demonic or devil-like roots. I don't know why, but it doesn't feel like it has holy attributes.
Does it mean I am an evil person? I don't think so. Perhaps just morally ambiguous. For now at least, until I feel like I've found some moral principles that I would feel open to adopting. So far no luck though.
Not all angels are good. Not all devils are evil. Life is rarely clearly so black and white.
I honestly thought that when I revealed my previous '5 Girlfriends' journal entry to people, I would be judged and ostracized. But I think people around me still treated me the same mostly. Which is a relief.
Truthfully though, when I sent that out, I was already prepared to be ostracized. Whether people accept me or not is out of my control. My self acceptance, however, is 100% within my control and far more important. I just wanted to be real with myself and also the people around me. I wanted to stop hiding and pretending to be something I'm not.
I decided to unmask myself. So the people who understand me can find me. Because I don't think I'm the only one of my kind. There is definitely a small percentage of people who will get me. And if I never have the courage to reveal myself, how would they ever know?
Who I truly am.
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Chinese Translation:
《女性无法抗拒的致命吸引力：文艺复兴式男人》
我脑海中时常浮现一个问题：如果女人可以为自己量身定制一个完全符合所有标准的男人，那他会是什么样子？
这个女人会赋予他哪些令人向往的品质？他的外貌如何？言行举止又会怎样？
这让我陷入思考——如果能构想出这个终极形象，我就能通过逆向工程，更深入地理解女性真正被什么特质吸引。
让我们进行一场思维实验。明确一点，我们要创造的是能吸引大多数女性的男人，因此我会更侧重多数女性认为有吸引力的特质，而非个人偏好。基本上，只要51%的女性认为有吸引力，这个特质就会被采纳。
他的外貌如何？众所周知女性偏爱高个子男性。假设他身高约6英尺（180cm+），拥有宽肩窄腰的倒三角体型。肌肉量超过平均水平但达不到职业健美选手程度，胸肌发达腹肌清晰，体脂率维持在10-12%。
面部特征方面，虽然有些女孩喜欢剃须干净的男性，但精心打理胡须的男性更具阳刚气质，所以我们选择修剪得体的胡须。加上棱角分明的面孔、清晰的下颌线、洁净的皮肤，绝对不能秃头，发质要出众。
衣着风格讲究合身得体。这套标准让我们创造了外貌部门的10分模板——基本上就是胡须版的亨利·卡维尔（前任超人扮演者）。接下来讨论财力指标。
财力方面无需达到埃隆·马斯克级别的亿万富翁。将1亿美元净资产设为财力部门的10分标准，包括投资、企业资产、奢侈品、车房、流动资金等。在我看来，1亿净资产足以维持奢侈生活。
关于名望与社会地位——这两者能极大提升男性的性市场价值（SMV）。无论是出身皇室、社交媒体红人、知名演员，还是任何领域的顶尖专家，甚至只是社交圈中的知名人士，名望与地位会潜意识告诉女性：这是个安全的选择，因为受到广泛尊重，不可能是暗巷里的危险陌生人。
假设他在Instagram、YouTube、TikTok等平台拥有500-1000万综合粉丝，极具影响力。通过社交媒体盈利、销售商品并 reinvest 到商业投资中，逐步实现1亿净资产。这就是名望地位的10分标准。
年龄设定在35-50岁之间。只要保持良好状态，这个年龄段并非关键因素。可以搜索新加坡摄影师陈传多（Chuando Tan），50多岁却拥有30岁的外貌和健美体魄。
另一个重点是"预选资格"（preselection）。女性需要看到这个男人也被其他女性青睐。凭借社交媒体影响力，他拥有无限女性选择权，这就是预选资格的10分标准。
完成外部高价值指标后，我们需要探讨内在特质。正如我在《五个女友》一文中提到的，外部高价值只能吸引女性注意，相当于潜在客户开发；而内在高价值才是长期维持吸引力的关键。
日前我在朋友家聚会，女孩们谈论择偶标准时都在讨论身高、财力、地位等外在条件。但最让我惊讶的是——没有人提到内在高价值特质，如阳刚之气、内在力量或自信。然而正是这些内在特质能维持长期吸引力。我了解女性思维模式："如果找不到让我持续心动的男人，至少让他有钱"——这也解释了为何存在那么多无性婚姻。
很多男性也误以为只要有钱就能维持女性吸引力。说句实话：当你向女性展示银行账户里的千万存款时，她真的会突然情欲高涨想和你上床吗？太多男性错误理解女性吸引力机制。
男性看到美女会瞬间产生吸引力，这是由外而内的审美；而女性需要时间评估男性内在才能产生深层吸引力，这是由内而外的认知过程。她的吸引力是随时间增长的，不同于男性的即时反应机制。
女性朋友唯一提到的内在特质是"忠诚"。但说实话，与其他内在特质相比，忠诚在吸引力排行榜上位置靠后。如果男性具备所有阳刚特质和高外部价值，忠诚对他而言是可选项。
因此在内在高价值部分，我会阐述女性实际反应积极的特质，而非她们口头声称的诉求。如果只听女性说什么，很容易被误导——在约会领域，女性感受的真实与客观真实并不等同，因为情感是主观且即时的，而非客观普世的。我要呈现的是残酷而真实的真相。
内在高价值需要高度阳刚之气，这样才能吸引最具女性特质的女性（如我在《性极化》文中所述）。什么是阳刚男性？特质包括：高度自律、规律生活、目标明确、拥有个人化世界观；像不可撼动的磐石般坚定沉稳；能拒绝不符合意愿的事情而不受社会期待束缚；具有强大内在力量和情绪韧性；坚守男性核心本质；不纵欲；对女色免疫——他能欣赏女性之美但不会因此动摇。
有多少高位男性因美色失去理智理性，做出毁终生的决定？想象因此引发甚至输掉的战争。女性的美貌与性征不应控制男性。因此这个男人完全掌控自己的性欲望，即使面对世界级美女也毫不动摇。
最后他必须彻底理解女性本质：明白与女性相关的一切都是暂时的，可能随时结束。因此他不会依附任何女性，无论她们出入其生活都毫发无伤。逻辑思考：女性曾经交往过的男性还有多少仍在她们生活中？少之又少。所有美好终会结束。因此我们创造的这个男人无论有无女性陪伴都能正常运作。这种阳刚之气是本领域的10分基准。
外部高价值（外貌、财力、名望、地位、预选）和内在高价值（阳刚之气、自信、对女性本质的理解）都达到10分的男人，我称之为"文艺复兴式男人"。
他在包括女性关系在内的所有生活领域都出色胜任，这意味着与他交往的女性始终对他保持90%以上的兴趣度和吸引力。
说实话，大多数女性会不惜代价想要这样的男友或丈夫。但这类男人凤毛麟角，可能两千万男性中才有一个。由于供需关系，存在的极少数人自然会分享众多女性，除非他选择忠于一人。
我即将得出的结论具有争议性，且并非道德建议，而是一个思想实验。因此，如果我们暂时搁置道德观念，仅考虑什么对人类最有利，我的观点是：如果这样的男人存在，他应该认真考虑与不同女性生育后代。我们需要让他的基因多样化并广泛传播，以提高后代基因库的整体质量。他应该选择最美貌、性感、最具女性特质、健康且生育力强的女性。忘记忠于一人，而应该忠于所有与他生育子女的女性。这是我冷静而坦诚的看法。即使你在道德上不认同，我也希望你至少能在逻辑上理解这个观点。
注：关于文艺复兴式男人的阐述到此结束。以下内容仅是我的个人日志练习、事后思考及近期经历，可选择停止阅读。
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那么我的各项评分如何？先从外部高价值说起。
外貌方面：如果亨利·卡维尔是10分，我状态好时算是6分。即使最大限度优化体型、皮肤、造型、牙齿，最高也只能达到8-8.5分，因为身高不足。但在亚洲有很多比我矮或同龄的女孩，身高是我无法控制的，纠结也无意义。
财力方面：如果1亿是10分，我只有1分。目前可以接受，随着其他领域的提升，物质财富自然会增长。
名望地位方面也是1分。我有提升这方面评分的想法，但尚未决定是否实施，见机行事吧。
预选评分如何？预选是个有趣的话题，或许将来会深入探讨，因此暂时不透露我的预选分数。
再来看看我的内在高价值。从何说起呢？我知道自己内在拥有达到10分的潜力，属于大器晚成的类型。但目前仍需在培养阳刚之气和其他内在特质方面努力。我认为自己内心非常强大，只是缺乏足够的人生经历来充分验证这种力量。
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说到考验：日前和化名凯蒂的女孩共进午餐时，我提到《Kpop Demon Hunters》是部值得观看的优秀电影。她停顿后说："我不看动画片，太幼稚了"。
那一刻我突然意识到：她在测试我是否会改变立场。于是我自然坚持己见："相信我，它比很多真人电影更出色"。如果我当时为讨好她而改变立场，就会失败于这个测试，显示出我的软弱和容易偏离男性核心。
这让我意识到：她确实将我视为潜在恋爱对象。毕竟女性不会测试毫无兴趣的男性。过去我可能没意识到这些微妙测试，甚至她本人也可能没意识到自己在测试——女性这些都是潜意识行为。因此不能向女性请教如何吸引女性，她们自己都不完全理解自身的吸引力机制。
我姐姐曾告诉我："丹尼，我不知道怎么解释，吸引力就是和对方在一起时的感觉，无法用语言描述。"但我可以用逻辑解释：当男性通过女性这类微妙测试时，她的吸引力就会增长。
问题在于99.9%的男性甚至不知道自己在被测试，更不了解测试的形式，最终失败。在研究女性吸引力机制之前，我也是其中之一。事实上，有时女性会因为男性未能通过某些小测试而错过优秀伴侣，多么可惜！
有些男性无意中通过了测试，但由于不知道如何或为何通过，既无法解释也无法传授他人。没有深层的逻辑理解，永远无法掌握精髓。也许有一天我可以详细论述女性的各种测试方式。
轻微剧透：我如此喜爱《Kpop Demon Hunters》，是因为主角作为半恶魔面临众多自我接纳的挣扎。我也时常纠结于接纳自己恶魔的一面而试图隐藏。
你们可能认为我洞察宇宙真理的"心灵之眼"能力是神圣的，但它可能根源于黑暗、恶魔或魔鬼属性。不知为何，它感觉不到神圣特质。这是否意味着我是邪恶之人？我不认为，或许只是道德模糊——至少在我找到愿意采纳的道德准则之前如此，虽然至今尚未找到。
并非所有天使都善良，并非所有恶魔都邪恶。人生很少如此非黑即白。
说实话，当我公开先前《五个女友》的日记时，本以为会被排斥。但周围人们大多待我如常，令人欣慰。不过发出那一刻，我已准备好被排斥——无论人们是否接受我，都超出我的控制范围。但我的自我接纳完全由自己掌控，且重要得多。我只是想真实面对自己和周围人，停止隐藏和伪装。
我决定揭下面具，让理解我的人能找到我。因为我相信自己不是独一无二的，肯定有一小部分人会理解我。如果永远没有勇气展现真我，他们又如何能发现呢？
这就是真实的我。